NEO-TOPICS.
There was a young neo-Delane
Whose writing was frequently sane;
But the name of Lloyd George
So uplifted his gorge
That it threatened to swallow his brain.
There was an adored neo-Queen
Who ruled the whole world on the screen;
She simply knocked spots
Off poor Mary of Scots,
But she doubled the gloom of our Dean.
There was an advanced neo-Georgian,
Or perhaps we should say Georgy-Porgian,
When asked to declare
What his principles were,
He invariably answered, "Pro-Borgian."
There was a great neo-Art critic
Whose style was extremely mephitic;
He treated van Gogh
And Cézanne as dead dog,
And John as a growth parasitic.
Our Bloated Pluralists.
"Wanted, Organist. Small country church. Salary £20. Good lodgings. (Could be held with post of Milker on Manor Farm; permanent work; Sundays free; ample salary.)"—Church Times.
"The Grimsby trawler Silurian has towed Sir George Grahame, Minister Plenipotentiary in Paris, to be his Majesty's Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary to the King of the Belgians."—Provincial Paper.
We really think the Government might have provided him with a torpedo-boat.
"The one thing which the Cabinet does not intend to do is to authorise the proclamation of marital law. It would engage far too many troops."—Provincial Paper.
The Irish girls are so attractive.
"A friend of mine bought from a bookseller who was also, oddly enough, a bibliophile himself, a copy of Arnold's very rare book, The Strayed Revetter, by A. He gave 6d. It is worth £5."—Book Post.
Surely more than that!
"An Ipswichomnibus pushed its bonnet through the window of a millinery shop."—Daily Paper.
This intelligent animal (believed to be the female of the Brontosaurus) was probably seeking a change of headgear.
Tripper. "I've a bloomin' good mind to report you for profiteering."
Old Salt. "What yer talkin' about?"
Tripper. "Well, them shrimps I bought off you. One of em's got only one eye."