GOLFING "IFS."
If you bring your own lunch
And frugally munch
Your sandwich and cake
For economy's sake;
If you strictly abstain
From sloe-gin and champagne,
Never touching a drop
Save perhaps ginger-pop;
If you're clever enough
To keep out of the rough,
If you don't slice or hook
Into pond, dyke or brook
Your new three-shilling ball,
And, best saving of all,
If you carry your clubs,
You can pay heavy "subs.,"
Fees for entrance and greens,
Without straining your means,
And, though you're a middle-
Class man, not a peer,
Agree with Lord Riddell
That golf isn't dear.
Cheery Sportsman. "Had six falls in two days, have you? Well, cheer up. Your luck's bound to change soon. These things always come in cycles."
Rough Rider. "Mine seem to come in motor lorries."