December 22nd, 1920.
CHARIVARIA.
It is pointed out that the display of December meteors is more than usually lavish. Send a postcard to your M.P. about it.
Mr. Lloyd George recently stated that the first prize he ever won was for singing. It is only fair to say that this happened in the pre-Northcliffe era.
An elderly Londoner recalls a Christmas when the cold was so intense that in a Soho restaurant the ices froze.
There has arrived at the Zoo a bird akin to the partridge and excellent for the table, but unable to fly. The very thing for the estate of a sporting profiteer.
"What is the best fire preventative?" asks a weekly journal. The answer is, the present price of coal.
The National Rat Campaign this year, we are told, was a great success. On the other hand we gather that several rats have threatened to issue a minority report.
"There is nothing so enjoyable," says a newspaper correspondent, "as a trip across the water to Ireland." Except, of course, a trip back again.
A number of Huns are receiving Iron Crosses through the post inscribed "Your Fatherland does not forget you." How like Germany! She won't even allow bygones to be bygones.
"Let Christmas come," says a contemporary headline. We have arranged to do so.
A Minneapolis judge rules that a man has the right to declare himself head of the household. Opinion in this country agrees that he has the right but rarely the pluck.
"My faith in the League of Nations is not shaken," says Lord Robert Cecil. This is the dogged spirit which is going to make this country what it used to be.
"It may yet be possible," according to the Water Power Resources Committee, "to harness the moon." This of course would depend upon whether Sir Eric Geddes would let them have it or not.
Cinema stunt actors, says The Manchester Guardian, expect to be paid fifty pounds for a motor smash. It seems an injustice that ordinary pedestrians should have to take part in this sort of thing for nothing.
The continued disappearance of notepaper from a well-known club has now been traced to a large female cat, and most of the paper has been recovered from her sleeping-basket. It is thought that she was probably preparing to write her memoirs.
A burglar who broke into a private house near Hitchin helped himself to a good supper before leaving. It is pleasing to learn, however, that, judging by the disordered state in which the pantry was left, the Stilton cheese must have put up a splendid fight.
It was most unfortunate that Mr. "Fatty" Arbuckle's visit to London should have clashed with the Cattle Show at the Royal Agricultural Hall.
During a recent revue performance in London the conductor accidentally turned over two pages of music at once and the orchestra suddenly ceased playing. Several words of the chorus were actually heard by those sitting in front before the mistake could be rectified.
Green peas in excellent condition, says a contemporary, have been picked at Pentlow, Sussex. It serves them right.
"Although Labour extremists are now much quieter it would take very little to set the ball of discontent into motion once again," states a writer in the Sunday Press. This being so, is it not rather unwise to let Christmas Day fall this year on the workmen's half holiday?
We question the wisdom of drawing the attention of Parliament to the silence of the Poet Laureate. If he is goaded into breaking it we shall know whom to blame.
"If people at home only knew how grateful we are for anything that is sent us," writes a lady from the island of Tristan d'Acunha. If they are as easily pleased as that, the idea of sending them Lieut.-Commander Kenworthy should not be lost sight of.
"The Hexathlon," we read, "is a form of contest new to this country." Mind you get one for the children at Christmas.
A new type of American warship is expected to be able to cross the Atlantic in a little over three days. It will be remembered that the fastest of the 1914 lot took nearly three years.
Large numbers of Filipinos are resisting an edict requiring them to wear trousers. Unfortunately it is impossible to offer to accommodate them all in the ranks of the Chicago Scottish.
Riverside residents remarked that just before the cold set in large flocks of seagulls passed up the Thames. Well, what did they expect? Flamingoes?
Mr. A. B. Walkley has remarked that a prejudice against actors is as old as the stage. It is satisfactory to think that it is no older and that in many cases it may be removed by a change of profession.
"I never dreamed of anything like this when I invented the telephone," said Dr. Bell after a demonstration. Neither as a matter of fact did we when we hired ours.
Owing to the fact that Dr. Bell has experienced no unpleasantness during his stay over here, it is thought that the American genius who invented revues may now risk a visit to our shores.
| It is with the deepest sorrow that we record the death of F. H. Townsend, which occurred, without any warning, on December 11th. Their personal loss is keenly felt by his colleagues of the Punch Table, to whom the fresh candour of his nature and his brave gaiety of spirit, not less than his technical skill and resourcefulness, were a constant delight and will remain an inspiration. As Art Editor he will be greatly missed by the many contributors who have been helped by his kindly counsel and encouragement. Of the gap that he leaves in the world of Art they are sadly conscious who followed and appreciated his fine work not only in the pages of Punch but in his book-illustrations and in those appeals for charity to which he always gave freely of his best. To his nearest and dearest among the wide circle that loved him we ask leave to offer the sympathy of friends who truly share their grief. With them we mourn a life untimely closed, and great gifts lost to us while still in their fulness; but we take comfort in the thought that death touched him with swift and gentle hand, and that he died with harness on, as a man would choose to die. |