HARDING AND COX.
(Being an inquiry into the two Candidates for the Presidency of the United States of America.)
I wish I knew some facts regarding
The private life of Mr. Harding;
I wish that I had simply stocks
Of anecdotes of Mr. Cox.
In U.S.A. (where both are resident
And each one hoping to be President)
Their favourite hymns, their size in boots,
Their views on liquor and cheroots
Are known to all; not Julius Cæsar
Is quite so much renowned as these are.
In England, where they do not dwell,
No one appears to know them well.
One cannot say if Cox's liver
Keeps well upon the Swanee River,
Nor whether Harding finds, when glum,
Any relief in chewing gum.
It may be that they both have good rows
Of dental ornaments like Woodrow's,
The waist of Taft, the Roosevelt eye
For pinking hippopotami.
It may be Harding had some flickers
Of Cleveland's spirit whilst in knickers,
And Cox while yet a puling babe
Dreamed tiny dreams of Lincoln (Abe);
And both, although they knew they'd catch it,
Cut fruit-trees with a little hatchet;
Both may have been, when glorious youths,
Too proud to fight or tell untruths.
I cannot say. I know they wrangle
On points I dare not disentangle,
That one of them's a Democrat
And t' other's not. And that is that.
Evoe.