Memorandum for Lords of the Manor.
A game which, when played on Commons, becomes illegal, is the Game of Cribbage.
MEDICAL BARS.
Mr. Punch,
A pretty dodge that is of the doctors and sawbones which have signed that there declaration respectin' Halcohol has as bin publish'd in the Papers. Wot I refers to moor partickler is their sayin that "Alcohol, in whatever form, should be prescribed with as much care as any powerful drug." Take this here along with their likewise sayin as they thinks the sale of liquors ought to be restricted by "wise legislation." Yah! What's the legislation as them medical gentlemen would call wise? I won't say, I should like to know, cos why I do know, and which therefore please alow me for to state, for to put a inliten'd Brittish Public on their gard agin a Doo. A liquor law for to shut up all the publichouses, and confine the sale of liquors—Halcohol in wotsomedever form, mind yer—to the 'pothecaries, chemists, and druggists, to be sold hunder conditions, like assnic or strikenine, or only wen horder'd by a fisitian's perscription. That's their objeck. That's wot they're arter. Anybody may see with arf an i they're all leged together to get the ole of the licker trade away from the legitimit Licens'd Wittlers into their own ands.
Now, Sir, just fancy under that sistim, if so be ever it passes, witch Evin forbid, what a halteration we should see direckly in doctors' shops. In coarse they'd ave to be a good deal inlarged to make room for the Bar and Beer-engine. Then, my i, what a variety of rum labels there would be on the big bottles, and the reseavers, and resevoys witch praps would do dooty amongst the fizzic for caskes and barrels. A young doctor chap, as uses my ouse, and promises to be a horniment to his perfession, rote me down a few names of liquors; he says, in Doctors' lattin, along with Pil: Colocynth Comp:, and Mist: Camph:, and sitch as we shall then see—Cerevis: Fort: XXX Burton:; Barel: Perk: etSoc: Integr:; Aq: Vitæ Gallic:; Sp: Junip: Batavorum:; Vin: Rubr:; Vin Alb: Hispan:; Sp: Sacchari Jamaicens: Opt:; Vetus Thomas:; Ros Montan:; &c.; all witch you and your honour'd readers, bein scollards, will hunderstand. Yes; and you'll have medickle men perscribin wine, beer, and sperrits in quantities of Oj., and ℥j. or ℥ij., and ʒifs., and ♏iij.; and patients will be payin extry fees to ave the same perscribed for 'em—dram drinkin in drams order'd medisinally.
Wich, afore that state of things is brought to pass, with defence not defiance for our motter, wot I say is, let's nale our cullers to the mast, No Surrender, and take to supplyin our customers with the werry best rubub, senna, and prerogative drugs, and likewise pilicotia, bark, prussic hacid and pizon of hevery description, as well as Halcohol in watever form, wich they pertends is so pernishus.
The Doctors' liquor shops, I dare say, will shut up on Sundays—but then no doubt but wot a short Notis outside will hinform you that "Medicine may be obtained by ringing the bell," the medsin including anything on draught you may choose to name, not exceptin punch, which cures the gout, the collect, and the tizzic—And it is allowed to be the werry best of fizzic. So no more at present from your obegent umbel Servant,
Bung.
