CLEAR AS CRYSTAL; OR, ALL ABOUT IT.
Interior of a Railway Carriage on a Suburban Line. Well-Informed Politicians discovered discussing question of the hour.
First Well-Informed Politician (summing up the situation with confidence). Well, that's how it stands. Drummond Wolff has telegraphed to say that the thing's no go, and that he can't get 'em to sign. So he has put the Convention into his pocket, and is coming home as fast as his legs can carry him.
Second Well-Informed Politician (tentatively). Pardon me, but I don't think it has quite come to that, has it? He was to have left, but the Sultan, you know, asked him to wait for an audience, or something of that sort. I saw something about it just now in the paper.
[Hunts up and down the columns of the "Times" vaguely.
Third Well-Informed Politician. O yes, I know what you mean. Here; it's here. (Produces "Standard.") Ha! this is it. (Reads.) "Sir H. D. Wolff was to have left yesterday, but having asked an audience to take leave, and the Sultan not having named a day for it, his departure has been postponed."
Second Well-Informed Politician. Yes, that's it. (Addressing First Well-Informed Politician with more assurance.) You see there's evidently a chance of further negotiation. I shouldn't be surprised to hear that the thing was settled yet.
First Well-Informed Politician (with warmth). Stuff, Sir—there'll be no settlement—and a precious good job too! Who wants any Convention? Not England. No, we're well out of it, and, what's more, Salisbury knows it.
Third Well-Informed Politician. You quite surprise me. Surely Lord Salisbury had set his heart on the signing of the Convention.
Second Well-Informed Politician. Oh yes, I'm sure of that. Why, I've just been reading it—in the Vienna Correspondence, I think it was. Where was it?
[Again commences a vague hunt up and down the columns of the "Times."
First Well-Informed Politician. Nonsense—I don't care what the "Vienna Correspondence" says. Tells a pack of lies, I'll be bound. I tell you Salisbury's no fool, and he knows when he has got a free hand.
Third Well-Informed Politician (slightly bewildered). But I thought the Convention, don't you know, did give him a free hand—at least, a sort of a free hand—that's to say, that's the way I took it.
Second Well-Informed Politician (brightly). Of course. Why that's the reason France and Russia put the screw on the Sultan.
First Well-Informed Politician. France and Russia put the screw on! Stuff, Sir! Who cares for France and Russia? Salisbury knows a trick or two worth any game they can play.
Fourth Well-Informed Politician (who has been waiting his chance, putting down the "Daily News"). I don't suppose this country will play any game, at all events, till the Grand Old Man's in again.
First Well-Informed Politician (hotly). What! The Grand Old——! Why, Sir, what do you mean? Why it's he who's responsible for every blessed muddle and mess, including this Egyptian business, that has overtaken the country for the last twenty years. Bless my soul, Sir, I can't understand your having the face to put forward such an opinion.
Fourth Well-Informed Politician (doggedly). Oh, you may bluster, but you won't change my view of things, I can tell you. Gladstone's the man for Egypt, and for everything else.
First Well-Informed Politician (boiling over). Confound it, Sir. Do you wish to insult me. I'll tell you what it is, Sir, I'll—— I'll——
[Left throwing more light on the situation as scene closes in.