THE COUNTRY-COUSIN'S VADE MECUM.
Question. So you have conscientiously done the Jubilee?
Answer. Certainly. For the last month I have scarcely ever been to bed.
Q. Why?
A. Somehow I have not retired to rest before it has been time to get up.
Q. Did you go to the Abbey?
A. That I did! Most touching! Shall never forget——
Q. Thank you. I think I can supply as much as you want of that sort of thing. I will not trouble you for any descriptions. Were you at the Guildhall Ball?
A. I was, and saw all the foreign Royalties.
Q. How did the Lord Mayor get through it?
A. On the whole, well; although the Remembrancer, in a full-bottomed wig, rushing about, in a very energetic fashion, was suggestive of Fusbos in Bombastes Furioso.
Q. Were you at the Royal Academy Soirée?
A. Certainly. It was a very large gathering.
Q. And who did you see there?
A. The same persons as those I had noticed in the Abbey.
Q. And they were——
A. The persons I had seen at the Reform Club Ball.
Q. And they?
A. Were subsequently found at the Inner Temple Ball, the Gray's Inn Maske, and the laying of the foundation-stone of the Institute.
Q. Was the Maske of Flowers a success?
A. A very great success; but it was all I could do to keep awake—I was so dead beat—in the Gray's Inn grounds at the Garden Party afterwards.
Q. And the Volunteer Review—how did you like that?
A. Oh, splendid! Nearly thirty thousand men all marching past.
Q. And the Review at Aldershot?
A. Magnificent! Nearly seventy thousand men marching past.
Q. Did they all pass you?
A. Yes, all. They took three hours or more in doing it. They were all alike. Seventy thousand men, all alike, for three hours. It was deeply interesting.
Q. Did you see the Queen?
A. I saw where she was, but Her Majesty was concealed from view by the Long Valley dust.
Q. Did you go to the Lincoln's Inn Garden Party?
A. To meet Lord Herschell, his friends, and the Prince and Princess? Certainly. It differed from other Garden Parties in having in the grounds a sort of bath containing a fountain, ducks, and (to the best of my belief) turtles.
Q. Have you been to many Garden Parties?
A. Oh yes, to a large number. I have been to nineteen with Indian Princes complete, and two without.
Q. Did you go to the Naval Review?
A. Oh yes; in the middle of the night. I came back before the dawn on the following morning.
Q. Was it very beautiful?
A. Very—what I could see of it.
Q. What did you see of it?
A. Not much.
Q. Have you done anything else?
A. I have been in a chronic state of dinners, balls, operas, laying of foundation-stones, fireworks, and marches past.
Q. Are you at all confused?
A. So much confused, that I have just head enough left to try, in a feeble manner, to get back to the country.
Q. And if you do get back to the country, when shall you again visit town?
A. Well, it is my impression, not just immediately!