THE CHAMELEON "REPORT".
Entirely New Version.
("The bearings of it lie in the application,"—to a certain Report.)
Time to the eager seems to lag,
Howe'er his glass be shaken;
Yet struck the hour when from the bag
The Creature should be taken.
Three Judges sage had cooped it there
Three Judges wise, three Judges fair,
At him Society will ejaculate
Who hints a Judge is not immaculate.
The Judge's ermine none dares dim
(Unless the Judge differs from him).
Now men discussed, with glee or dolour,
The question of the Creature's colour.
"Black as my hat," cries one, "I know."
"Nay!" shouts another, "white as snow!"
Whether the thing revealed should prove
To ape the Raven or the Dove,
Was matter of dispute most furious;
Angry were most, and all were curious.
At last arrived the eventful day
When from the bag the thing must crawl,
And lo! the Creature's tint was grey,
Which disappointed all.
But though Truth brings a brief confusion
To obstinate foregone conclusion,
Prejudice, routed most dismally,
Will quickly to Unreason rally.
And so the one side would remark
That for a grey 'twas wondrous dark;
The other side did more than hint
They never saw so light a tint;
"Deep iron-grey!" said one, "Oh, stuff!"
Another cried at most a buff!
"In tint below, in hue above,
'Tis little deeper than a Dove!
In fact, looked at in a strong light,
'Tis scarce distinguishable from white!"
"White!" yelled a third, with rage half
throttled,
"With jet-black streaks 'tis thickly mottled.
If not pure Raven, all must own
No Magpie hath a sootier tone!"
And so the rival parties raged and wrangled;
Judgment considered whilst the bigots jangled,
And the great bulk of them 'twas sad to find,
Wore party-coloured specs., or else were colour-blind!