WEEK BY WEEK.
Wednesday.—Great Day everywhere. Mr. Punch appears. Crowds in Fleet Street. The Numbers up in the Office Window. Receptions, alarums, (eight day) excursions (there and back) to meet H.M. Stanley. Curfew at dusk. No followers allowed.
Thursday.—Crowds out to meet H. M. Stanley. Mrs. Nemo's sixth and last dance to meet Mr. H. M. Stanley, as he hasn't been to any of the others.
Friday.—Lecture by Mr. Charles Wyndham on "the block system," in the time of Charles the First. Admission by entrances only.
Saturday.—Centenary Celebration of a lot of things. Review of the events of the past month in Hyde Park, by the Editor of the Nineteenth Century, to meet Mr. Stanley. Ceremony of conferring the Order of the Adelphi on H. M. Stanley, by Messrs. Gatti.
Sunday.—Short services from Dover to Calais. No sermon. Collection in Hyde Park. H. M. Stanley goes to meet somebody else for a change.
Monday.—Expedition to find H. M. Stanley.
Tuesday.—Readings of the Barometer, and lecture on hot-house plants and French grapes, by Sir Somers Vine. At Tattersall's, Lecture on the approaching "Eve of the Derby," and the female dark races.
It has been finally settled that Mr. Phil Gorman, who will be remembered in connection with the catering department at all the public dinners held of late years in Sloshfield, is to be the next incumbent of the highest municipal office in that prosperous borough. Mrs. Gorman is a daughter of the celebrated local poet, James Posh, whose verse still occasionally adorns the Sloshfield Standard.
A remarkable incident is stated to have taken place at Lady B—— 's fancy dress ball. A gentleman, wearing the gorgeous costume of a Venetian Senator of the renaissance period, somewhat awkwardly entangled his spurs in the flowing train of a beautiful débutante, dressed to represent Diana the Huntress. Some of those in the immediate vicinity of the ill-used goddess aver that she was distinctly heard to say, "Pig!". Those who know her better declare, however, that, with her usual politeness, she merely remarked, "I beg your pardon." Hence the misconception, which is certainly pardonable.
The trees in the Park are now assuming their brightest verdure. It is interesting to note that the number of sparrows shows no signs of diminution.
Excellent subject Sir Arthur has chosen for his serious opera—Ivanhoe. It is now finally settled that the part of Rowena will not be entrusted to Mr. Herbert Campbell. It is whispered that the great effect will be the song of Isaac of York, magnificently orchestrated for fifteen Jews' harps, played by lads all under the age of twelve. They have already commenced practice under the eye of Sir Arthur, who himself is no unskilled performer on the ancient lyre of Jubal.