THE ANGLO-GERMAN CONCERTINA.
"I confess I was not at all prepared for the feelings that some South Africans appear to entertain with respect to our conduct in the recent negotiations"—Lord Salisbury to the Deputation of African Merchants respecting the proposed Anglo-German Agreement.
I fancied that this Instrument
Would make a great sensation
And that its music would content
The critics and the nation,
I know it is what vulgar folks
Christen the "Constant-screamer;"
I thought you'd scorn such feeble jokes;
It seems I was a dreamer.
You writhe your lips, you close your ears!
Dear me! Such conduct tries me.
You do not like it, it appears
Well, well,—you do surprise me!
'Tis not, I know, the Jingo drum,
Nor the "Imperial" trumpet.
(The country to their call won't come,
However much you stump it.)
They're out of fashion; 'tis not now
As in the days of "BEAKEY."
People dislike the Drum's tow-row.
And call the Trumpet squeaky.
So I the Concertina try,
As valued friends advise me.
What's that you say? It's all my eye?
Well, well,—you do surprise me!
I fancied you would like it much,
You and the other fellows.
Admire the tone, remark my touch!
And what capacious bellows!
'Tis not as loud as a trombone,
But harmony's not rumpus;
The chords are charming, and you'll own
It has a pretty compass.
I swing like this, I sway like that!
Fate a fine theme supplies me!
The "treatment" you think feeble, flat?
Well, well—you do surprise me!
The "European Concert"? Grand!
(You recollect that term, man!)
This is a Concertina, and
It's make is Anglo-German,
You can't expect the thing to be
English alone, completely;
But really, as 'tis played by me.
Does it not sound most sweetly?
Humph! DONALD CURRIE cocks his nose,
BECKETT disdainfully eyes me,
My Concertina you would—close!
Well, well—you do surprise me!