SCIENCE AND HEART.

"A Correspondent of 'the Field' records an experiment which he made with a wasp. 'Having,' he says, 'severed a wasp in two pieces, I found that the head and thorax with the uninjured wings retained full vitality.... It tried to fly, but evidently lacked the necessary balance through the loss of the abdomen. To test the matter further, I cut out an artificial tail from a piece of thin cardboard, as nearly following the shape of the natural body as possible. To fasten the appendage to the wasp, I used a little oxgall ...; gum or more sticky substances would not do, as it impedes the use of the wings in flight. Presently the operation was complete, and, to my surprise, the wasp, after one or two ineffectual efforts, flew in rather lopsided fashion to the window. It then buzzed about for at least a quarter of an hour, eventually flying out at the top ... it was vigorous when it flew away."—Extract from an Evening Paper.

The Benefit of Humour in
Philosophy.		Philosophers can always do more
Assisted by a sense of humour:
Witness the droll experiment
Of this same scientific gent.
For he, his frugal breakfast finishing,
(The eggs and bacon fast diminishing)
Noted how o'er his marmalade
A Wasp was buzzing undismayed.
General Reflection:
Attitude of Man towards
the Wasp.		We all are apt to be inhosp-
Itable to the humble Wasp—
That Ishmael of domestic insects,
The terror of the feminine sex!
The Philosopher shares
the prevailing Prejudice.		And our Philosopher, though cool,
Was no exception to the rule.
His Method.He let it settle on his plate;
He poised a knife above—like Fate.
The Blow falls.Next—with a sudden flash it drops
Right on that unsuspecting Wopse!
Which, unprepared by previous omen,
A Tragic Meeting.Awestruck, confronts its own abdomen!
And sees its once attached tail-end dance
A brisk pas-seul of independence!
A pang more bitter than before racks
Dignified Behaviour of
the Wopse.		That righteously indignant thorax,
As proudly (yet with perfect taste)
It turns its back upon its waist,
And seeks, though life must all begin new,
"Business as usual" to continue!
A Philosopher's Remorse.The Man of Science felt his heart
Prick him with self-accusing smart,
To see that ineffectual torso
Go fluttering about the floor so;
The Uses of a Scientific
Education.		A wasp for flight is too lopsided.
So, with remorsefulness acute,
Reparation.He rigged it up a substitute;
Providing it a new posterior,
At least as good—if not superior.
His Process.He cut it out a tail of card,
And stuck it on with ox-gall, hard.
(This he prefers to vulgar glue)
And made that Wopse as good as new!
Forgiveness.Until the grateful insect soared
Away, with self-respect restored
To find that mutilated part of his
Had been so well replaced by artifice.
Further proceedings of
the Philosopher.		The Scientist, again complacent,
To pen and ink and paper hastened,
And, in a letter to the Field,
Told how the Wasp, though halved, was healed,
And how, despite a treatment rigorous,
It left consoled—and even vigorous!
Moral.The Moral—here this poem stops—is
'Tis ne'er too late for mending Wopses!

A "CUTTING" OBSERVATION.—This is from the Daily Graphic:—

GENERALS.—TWO WANTED to do the work of a small house; £14-£18; for two in family; easy place, early dinners; very little company.

How sad! At how low an ebb has our Army arrived under recent mal-administration! In time we may have even "Our Only General" himself advertising for a place, or answering an advertisement like the above. Not much "company drill"; so, if easy, it will be dull.

A SALE OF YEARLINGS.—THE VERY LAST OF THE SEASON.

A PERILOUS TUG OF WAR.

"The labouring men, as a class, are rapidly approaching to a footing of full equality with the capitalist, and it is even possible they may become the stronger of the two.... They must be content to have their class interests, whatever they are, judged in the light of the public interests.... Labour and capital may have separate interests, yet their separate interests are little, in the long run, as compared with those in which they are united."—Mr. Gladstone at West Calder.

"Till the war-drum throbb'd no longer, and the battle-flags were furled,

In the Parliament of man, the Federation of the world":

So the youthful Poet Laureate pictured it in limpid verse;

Now the Federations fight each other! Better is't, or worse?

See, the battle-flags are flying freely as on War's red field.

And the rival hosts are lugging, straining—neither means to yield.

For the war-drums, are they silent? Nay—they're not of parchment now,

But, with printers' ink and paper, you can raise a loud tow-row;

Be it at a Labour Congress, Masters' Meeting, Club, or Pub,

Public tympana are deafened with their ceaseless rub-a-dub!

Tug of War! It is a Tug, and not, alas! mere friendly war,

As when rival muscles tussle, Highland lad or British tar,

'Tis a furious fight à outrance, knitted, knotted each to each,

Heels firm-planted, hands tense-clenching, till the knobby knuckles bleach.

Federated Masters straggle, Federated Toilers strain,

Each intent on selfish interest, each on individual gain,

And a chasm yawns between them, and a gulf is close behind!

What is the most likely issue of such conflict fierce and blind?

Unionism 'gainst Free Labour, Capital against mere Toil!

Is it better than two tigers fighting for some desert spoil?

"Federate" the Libyan lions as against the elephant herds,

Will the battle be less savage? Let us not be fooled by words!

Say the tense-strained rope-strands sunder, say that either band prevail!

Shall not "conquer" in the issue prove a Synonym for "fail"?

"Banded Unions persecute," and Federated Money Bags

Will not prove a jot or tittle juster. Fools! Haul down those flags!

Competition is not conflict. So the Grand Old Casuist says,

Speaking with the sager caution of his earlier calmer days.

True! Athletic rivals straining at the tense tough-stranded rope,

Strain in friendly competition, ruin not their aim or hope;

But a lethal Tug of War 'twixt "federated" foemen blind.

With a chasm at their feet, and each a yawning gulf behind,

On a precipice precarious! Truly, too, a foolish fight!

Rival Federated Wrongs will never further Common Right!