INTERVIEWING À LA MODE.
(Quite at the Service of some of Mr. Punch's Contemporaries.)
One of our Representatives called a few days since upon Mr. BROWN, senior member of the well-known firm of Messrs. BROWN, JONES, AND ROBINSON. The Eminent General Dealer was seated "in his counting-house," as the nursery-song hath it, "counting out his money."
"Come in, come in!" said Mr. BROWN, cordially, as he somewhat hurriedly looked up the coin in a safe out of our reach. "I am delighted to see you."
"Glad to hear it," we replied, rather drily. "We want to put a few questions to you, in the interest of the public."
"As many as you please. I am, as you know, a man of business; still, the resources of our establishment are so vast, that my place can be supplied without inconvenience to our thousands, I may say millions of customers. And now, Sir, what can I do for you?"
"Well, Mr. BROWN, speaking in the name of civilisation, I would wish to ask you if you have much sale for SMASHUP's Concentrated Essence of Cucumbers (registered), in the larger bottles?"
"Yes, Sir, we have; although the smaller sizes are, possibly, a trifle more popular."
"What do you think of COTTONBACK's Fleur de Lyons Putney Satin?"
"A most admirable material for home wear, although we do not recommend it for use at a party, a ball, or a reception. For festive occasions we do a very large trade in GIGGLEWATER's Superfine Velvet South American Moiré Antique as advertised."
"Indeed! Perhaps, you can mention a few more articles that in your judgment you believe it will interest our readers to learn about."
"Pardon me, but don't you put that sentence a trifle clumsily?"
Our Representative smiled and blushed. Then he admitted that Mr. BROWN might be right.
"Ha! ha! ha!" laughed the Senior Partner, in great glee. "You see I have my head screwed on the right way! But to answer you. GOTEMON's Patent Alligator's Skin Braces are attracting much attention just now, so is WIPE's Castle 2 Imperial William Champagne, which finds (I may observe confidentially) a ready sale at thirty-two shillings the dozen. Then there are AKE's Electric Tooth-brushes, and CRAX's Stained-glass Solid Mahogany Brass-mounted Elizabethan Mantel-boards. Then, of course, I must not forget BOLTER's Washhandstands and BOUNDER's Anti-agony Aromatic Pills."
"And all these articles sell largely?"
"Very largely, indeed. And so they should; for they are well worth the money they cost."
"Indeed they are, or I should not find them in your establishment."
"You are very good. And now, à propos of your journal, will you permit me to pay a return compliment?"
"Certainly," we replied. "You have noticed an improvement in our columns?"
"Unquestionably I have," returned Mr. BROWN, emphatically. "I have observed that of late you have given much interesting matter in the body of your paper that heretofore used to be reserved for the pages exclusively devoted to advertisements. I congratulate you!"
And with a courteous wave of his hand and a bow of dismissal, the Eminent Pillar of Commerce delicately intimated to us that our interview was at an end.