A CONSISTENT LEAGUE.
Immediately upon McFarland's acquittal, the Union League of Philadelphia determined to give a grand ball. And they did it. And, what is more, they intend to do it every time the majesty of any kind of Union is vindicated. Except, of course, the union of the "Iron interest" and the public good.
One of the most valuable and instructive features of this ball was, the grand opportunity it offered to the members of the League to show their respect and affection for the spirit of the Fifteenth Amendment, Accordingly, they invited a large number of colored ladies and gentlemen, and the accursed spirit of caste was completely exorcised by the exercises of the evening. The halls were grandly decorated with blackberry and gooseberry bushes, and other rare plants; sumptuous fountains squirted high great streams of XX ale and gin-and-milk; enormous piles of panned oysters, lobster salad, Charlotte Russe, and rice-pudding blocked up half the doorways, while within the dancing hall the merriment was kept up grandly. The ball was opened by a grand Cross-match waltz in which Hon. MORTON MCMICHAEL and Mrs. DINAH J--N; GEORGE H. BOKER and Miss CHLOE P--T--N; WILLIAM D. KELLEY and Aunty Di. LU-V-I-A-N; A. BORIE and Miss E. G--N; Gen. TYNDALE and Miss MAY OR--TY, and several other distinguished couples twirled their fantastic toes in the most reckless abandon. Virginia reels, Ole Kentucky break-downs, and other characteristic dances diversified the ordinary Terpsichorean programme, and the dancing was kept up to a late hour. It was truly gratifying to every consistent supporter of the enfranchisement of the African race, to see such gentlemen as Senator REVELS, FREDERICK DOUGLASS, Mr. PURVIS, and other prominent colored citizens, in the halls of this patriotic and thoroughly American Society. The members of the League were evidently of the opinion that it would be a most flagrant shame, on an occasion of this kind, for them to deny to their colored fellow citizens the rights and privileges that they are so anxious shall be accorded them by every one else; and, while they do not believe that they are bound to invite any one--black or white--to their private reunions on account of political considerations, they do not attempt to deny that, on an occasion of this kind--a celebration in fact of the success of a political party--it would be most shameful to ostracize the very citizens for whom that party labored and conquered. Therefore it was that they so warmly welcomed, within their gorgeous halls, their colored fellow-citizens, and by so doing won for themselves the approbation of every consistent American. It was one of the most affecting sights of the evening to see these gentlemen of the League, nobly trampling under their feet all base considerations of color and caste, and walking arm and arm with their colored sisters; smelling the exotics; admiring the groups of statuary; sipping the coffee and the punch; pricing the crimson curtains; inhaling the perfumes from the cologne-water fountains; ascending and descending the grand walnut staircase (arranged for this occasion only); listening to the birds in the conservatories; and fixing their hair in the magnificent dressing-rooms. When, in the midst of the festivities the band struck up the beautiful air, "Ask me no more!" the honored guests of color looked at each other with pleasant smiles which seemed to denote a perfect satisfaction. And so, whatever may be said of the friends of the colored race in other parts of the country, it must be universally admitted that the Union League of Philadelphia has done its duty!
Good Reading for Topers.
MR. GREELEY's "Recollections of a Boozy Life."
Sporting Intelligence.
A NEWSPAPER item says that "a Mexican offers to shoot JUAREZ for $200."
That's nothing. TAYLOR, of Jersey City, offers to shoot any man in the world for $2000.
The Favorite Drink of the Canadian Government.
CABINET Whiskey.
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, for the Southern District of New-York.
The public still labor under misapprehensions of our character and calling. We are in daily receipt of letters of the most heterogeneous description, the task of answering which we are compelled to utterly forego.
We subjoin a few specimens:
"MR. PUNCHINELLO. Dear Sir: My wife died yesterday, and would you be so kind as to come and make her will? I would not give you the trouble of coming, but the young woman I intend to marry next is going away to-morrow, and I don't want to leave home. My wife had five hundred dollars which I want left to me, and a feather bed, which you may divide amongst the children.
"Yours in affliction,
"SOLOMON SNIPP."
"SIR: I calculate to give a funeral down at my place shortly, that is, if things go right; but we have no preacher to do the work. Would you please to send us one? Not particular what kind, so long as the work is sure. Party is not dead yet, but I make arrangements beforehand as I expect to be insane. Good pay for good work.
"Sincerely,
"P. MCFINIGAN.
"P. S. Do preachers warrant their burials?"
"DEAR MR. PUNCHINELLO:--You were so good as to prescribe a hot pitch plaster for the baby's mouth. Next day I took the prescription to your office, but failed to get it made up, as the devil, they told me, was busy. Will you please inform me when you will be at leisure? Meanwhile baby yells.
"Yours truly,
"C. PUGSBY.
"P.S. Later. Mrs. PUGSBY says if I apply that plaster she will go insane. True, she does not understand fire-arms, but then I should be afraid to drink any coffee for a month. In the meantime, if the baby keeps on, I shall go crazy myself; so there is likely to be a casualty somewhere. What's to be done? Shall I bring the child to you?
"C. P."
Answer. At your peril. Go crazy and shoot it; then we will go crazy and turn counsel for the defence. The result will probably be that you are handed over to the ladies to be kissed into reason; but if you would rather be hung, you must do the shooting over in New-Jersey.
"BEAUTIFUL SNOW."
Circumstances having rendered it probable that the dispute respecting the authorship of the poem "Beautiful Snow" may shortly be revived, PUNCHINELLO takes this opportunity of setting the public right on the subject, and silencing further controversy regarding it for ever.
It is the production of Mr. PUNCHINELLO, himself; was composed by him so long ago as July, 1780, and copyrighted in August of the same year. It may be asked how the idea of snow-flakes happened to occur to him in July. That question is easily settled. The day was sultry; thermometer 98° in the arbor. Drowsed by the sultry air--not to mention the iced claret--Mr. PUNCHINELLO posed himself gracefully upon a rustic bench, and slept. Presently the lovely lady who was fanning him, fascinated by the trumpet tones that preceded from his nose, exclaimed: "Beautiful Snore!" This was repeated to him when he awoke, and hence the origin of the poem.
Fish Culture.
The Grand Duke ALEXIS, of Russia, proposes to come to these shores and inspect the American system of fish culture. With this end in view, he will, of course, be the particular guest of Gen. GRANT, and will, no doubt, be surprised to find that our principal FISH is a cultivated man. But he will better understand our FISH system by witnessing its operations in Spanish and Canadian waters, as also in those of Sault St. Marie.
Linsey-Woolsey.
The regular troops for the Canadian Red River Expedition have been supplied by Gen. LINDSEY, and are commanded by Col. WOLSLEY--a fact oddly co-incidental with the reported flimsy character of the expedition, so far as it has gone.
Bivalvulor Intelligence.
It is stated that the clams along the Stratford shore are dying by thousands of a malignant disease, which a correspondent of the Bridgeport Standard calls "clam cholera." This is a sad c'lamity for the people of the Stratford shore.
The Fifteenth Amendment.
The appointment of colored postmasters in Maryland may be all very well; but PUNCHINELLO would like to know whether the Post-office authorities intend to revive the custom of Blackmailing.