SENATE.
| Ind-Hearted Mr. CHANDLER had a proposition "which would restore American commerce to its former footing." It was simply to annex San Domingo, Cuba, and Canada. He repudiated with scorn and disgust the insinuation that he proposed to pay anything for them. That was foreign to his nature. He meant merely to take them. By this means they would not only restore American commerce—he din't profess to know exactly how—but they would inflict a deadly blow upon haughty England. At this point Mr. CHANDLER became incoherent, the only intelligible remark which reached the reporters, being that he could "lick" Queen VICTORIA single-handed. Mr. SUMNER remarked that a war with England would be costly. Mr. CHANDLER declined to accept any suggestion from a man who went to diplomatic dinners, and consorted with Englishmen. He had been told that at these dinners, to which he was proud to say he had never gone, and to which, while the custom of issuing invitations prevailed, he never would go, Mr. SUMNER ate with his fork. Such a man could not be a true American. |
Mr. MORRILL introduced a bill to increase the mileage of members. Notoriously, he observed, the mileage of members was scandalously small. He knew that the self-sacrificing nature of the senators would delight to pay this tribute to the fidelity of themselves, and the equally deserving public servants of the other house. Passed with acclamations.
A resolution was introduced to appropriate a few millions towards the discovery of the North Pole.
Mr. SAULSBURY said—Whazyoose?
Mr. SUMNER explained that it would be a good thing for science.
Mr. COLE explained that it would be an enormous thing for fishermen.
Mr. YATES explained that it would be a vast thing for "cobblers."
Mr. SAULSBURY said—Ah, B'gthing on Ice.
Mr. MORRILL moved to extend the Capitol grounds to the next lot.
Mr. YATES moved to extend them to Chicago.
Mr. MORTON moved to extend them to Indianapolis.
Mr. CHANDLER wildly shrieked Detroit.
Mr. SUMNER faintly murmured Boston.