THE WRINGER OF THE FUTURE.
The Yankee who invented everything else has now invented the "Wringer Man's Monitor!" In spite of its name, the Monitor is a machine for the use (and, we suppose, benefit,) of washer-women. "It is so constructed----so as to allow the rollers to separate equally alike at both ends," observes the tautological inventor. We hope he has been more economical in the expenditure of wringing power than he seems to be in the use of the English language; otherwise, we fear the poor laundresses will find the Monitor a trifle too heavily plated.
What we want (and we here beg the attention of inventive Yankees,) is a machine that will, if possible, wring the truth from current Cable news, and stop just as the lies begin to be squeezed out. Perhaps the stuff won't wash! Then let the main pressure be felt by its inventors and publishers.