Listening.
Much has been said of the art of speaking, and comparatively little on the art of listening. Not to listen is an offence against the laws of politeness. Conversation is a species of commerce, where every one has a right to bring and to dispose of his commodities, and to supply others with what he supposes they stand in need of: therefore it ought to be an exchange—a barter.
If to listen is a duty towards others, it is also of the greatest utility and importance to ourselves. Complaisance in listening marks a wish to learn; he who does not like to listen, does not wish to learn the truth. He who speaks, sows; he who listens, reaps.
Nothing is more acceptable and pleasing than the art of listening. We often see men of superior abilities prefer the society of those who are inferior, because they listen with respect. This does not originate in pride or vanity, but the mind is raised and inflamed by awakening attention and curiosity.
No one, on the contrary, is so displeasing and offensive, as he who refuses his attention, or who listens with a total want of respect and politeness. Some persons, as soon as you open your mouth, pretend to know what you would say, and appear impatient till you have done. Some take the words out of your mouth and contradict you sharply. Others will begin to talk to another person, call the servants, scold the children, or perhaps turn their backs and leave you.
An eastern sage was once relating his misfortunes to a statue. “Fool,” said a traveller, “do you suppose that cold marble hears you?” The sage replied, “I know the marble hears me not; but, at least, it does not interrupt me.”
There is a proper way of listening; not that of the stupid and ignorant, who, at every trifling word, open their eyes and cry out, a miracle; nor that of those who smile and applaud as soon as you begin to speak. These resemble some persons who would applaud at a theatre as soon as the candles are lighted. We must esteem those who listen to us, in order to aspire to their praises, and to acquire in their company the fire of eloquence, and the desire to please.
Listening properly is appearing to observe, to approve, and to be pleased; a sensible remark, a delicate compliment, a few words apparently suggested by those of others, a single word introduced with propriety, and even an intelligent and animated look, a smile of approbation; in short, that air of attention, of interest, of esteem, when a person is talking to us, is the greatest compliment we can pay.
