THE NEW RED RIDING-HOOD
By E. S. Brooks
CHARACTERS
Jenny, a girl of eight years.
Johnny Stout, a boy of sixteen or eighteen years.
Jimmy Bings, a Tramp.
The argument shows that wolves are just as designing, little girls just as heedless and helpful, and the chances of rescue just as possible to-day as at the time of the original Red Riding-hood.
SCENE
A neatly furnished parlor. Jenny discovered dusting furniture, arranging flowers, and making things look nice generally.
Jenny. [Surveying her work critically.]
There!—my mama's gone away,
To be gone, she said, all day,
And so I am keeping house. Oh, what fun!
I shall have no time to play,
But must work and work away,
And be busy as a mouse, till I've done.
But my mama said to me—
Now, what was it? Let me see:
“Jenny, darling, don't go out all the day;
But keep close at home till tea,
When I'll come and set you free;
So just mind what you're about, dear, I pray.
“And keep Bridget right in call;
And mind this, dear, most of all:
Don't let in any stranger while I'm gone.
Lock the windows and the hall,
And be careful not to fall,
And don't get into danger here alone.”
Well, I'll try my best, I'm sure,
To keep everything secure;
But I've no need for Bridget, that I know;
Girls are such a bore about,
And she might as well go out;
I'll just go down and tell her she can go. [Exit.]
[Jimmy Bings appears outside at window (or door, if a window is impracticable); he peers in, looks around; then tries the window, opens it, and enters cautiously.]
Jimmy Bings.
Well, now, here's a lucky go!
With that window open so,
I just skipped right in the house as slick as soap.
Why, here's loads of pretty things.
You're in luck, old Jimmy Bings,
And can do a stroke of business here, I hope.
[A noise outside.]
Hello! Who's that coming here?
[Goes to door, and looks out cautiously.]
Men? No! Dogs? No! Well, that's queer!
Why! it's only just a pretty leetle gal.
Jimmy Bings, slip out, and then
Just walk in here bold again—
Play your game, and make that little chick your pal!
[Exit through door cautiously.]
[Reënter Jenny.]
Jenny.
There! Now Bridget's gone away,
And I'll have a quiet day,
Fixing everything up lovely while I wait;
So that Mama, she will say,
When she comes back home to-day:
“What a lady is my little girl of eight!”
[Enter by door Jimmy Bings, hat in hand.
He makes Jenny a low bow.]
Jimmy B.
Ah! Good-morning, little miss!
You look sweet enough to kiss.
Is your Ma at home this morning, may I ask?
Jenny.
Why, sir, no. She's gone away,
To be gone the livelong day,
And I'm keeping house alone.
Jimmy B. A pleasant task.
And you'll do it, I'll be bound.
Well, I'm sorry Ma's not 'round,
For I wanted quite pertickeler to see her.
Jenny.
May not I, sir, do as well?
Is it—anything to sell?
Pray sit down, sir, so that we may talk the freer.
Jimmy B. [Sitting.]
Thank you, Miss, I'll sit awhile;
For I've traveled many a mile,
Just to see your precious Ma, if you'll believe me.
Jenny.
She'll be sorry, sir, I know,
When she hears she's missed you so.
Can't you tell me, sir, your business, ere you leave me?
Jimmy B.
Well, the fact is, I'm her cousin!
[Jenny looks surprised.]
Oh, she'd know me in a dozen.
I'm her cousin, come to see her, from Nevada.
Jenny. [Suspiciously.]
In those clothes?—Oh, sir,—I fear—!
Jimmy B.
Oh, a railroad smash-up, dear,
Mussed me up a little—never was jogged harder!
Jenny.
Oh, I'm sorry! Are you hurt?
Jimmy B.
Not the least. It's only dirt;
But I always am so neat, I quite despair;
And my wardrobe all is down
At the Clarendon, in town,
Where I'm stopping: I am Algernon St. Clair.
Jenny.
My, though! What a pretty name!
Well, it really is a shame
You should have to go to town in such a plight.
There now, wouldn't Papa's do?
Oh, please look the papers through,
And I'll run upstairs, and soon fix you all right.
Jimmy B.
No, don't fret yourself, my dear;
I prefer to have you here,
Though perhaps I may accept your offer later.
Is your Pa as big as me?
Jenny. [Surprised.]
Don't you know him?
Jimmy B. Well, you see,
I've been West so long I've kind of lost my data.
Jenny.
Won't you have a bit to eat?
Jimmy B.
Well, I do feel rather beat.
Jenny.
Then I'll go and bring you up a little luncheon.
Jimmy B. [Carelessly.]
Have you silver, dear—or plate?
Jenny.
Mostly solid, sir.
Jimmy B. Fust rate!
Bring it up, and let me see it while I'm munchin'.
Jenny. [Surprised.]
Bring up all the silver, sir?
Jimmy B.
Why, that's what I come here fur,
Just to make your dearest Ma a little present,—
Silver service lined with gold,—
And if hers's a trifle old
I'll have it all fixed over.
Jenny. [Delighted.] Oh, how pleasant!
I will get it right away.
My! I'm glad you came to-day,
It will be, oh, such a nice surprise to Mama.
Jimmy B.
Well, I rather think so, too.
Jenny.
Now, for your luncheon. [Exit.]
Jimmy B. [Looking after her and rubbing his hands.]
Good for you!
What a blessed little chick you are, my charmer!
Just the cream of tender things;
You're in luck, old Jimmy Bings—
Oh, hexcuse me, Mr. Algernon St. Clair!—
Just you turn an honest penny.
Now, let's see if there are any
Of these things worth my packing up with care.
[Takes the table-cloth off the table and begins filling it with ornaments, knickknacks, and valuables, looking at each article sharply. Suddenly he stops, both hands full, as if struck by a brilliant idea.]
Jimmy Bings! Why, that is grand,—
Here's a fortune right at hand!
For contriving little schemes you are the boss.
Scoop in all the things you can,
And then, like a prudent man,
Take the little girl off too—like Charley Ross!
[Hurries the rest of the things into the table-cloth, stopping occasionally to express his approval of his great plan by sundry slaps and nods. Enter Jenny with a tray of luncheon, nicely set. She stands in the doorway amazed.]
Jenny.
Mr. Algernon St. Clair,
Why—what are you doing there?
Jimmy B.
Only clearing off the things to help you, dear.
Jenny.
But the table's large enough.
Jimmy B.
Oh, well! Just set down the stuff,
And I'll make the reason very, very clear—
Brought a lot for me to eat?
Jenny.
Bread and cake, preserves and meat.
Jimmy B.
What a handy little chick you are,—
[Nods at her, his mouth full.] That's so!
Don't you want to come with me—
And your little cousins see?
Jenny.
Oh, no, thank you, sir; from home I cannot go.
Jimmy B. [Eating rapidly.]
Well, we'll speak of that bime-by.
Vittles, fust-class—spiced quite high.
Yes—they're most as good as what I get in town.
[Pushes his plate away.]
Now, then; I will tell you, Miss,
What's the meaning of all this.
[Points to his bundle.]
Where's that silver service?
[Jenny opens sideboard and shows the silver service.]
All right—pack her down.
[Stuffing it into the bundle.]
Well, you see, it isn't fair
That a sister of St. Clair
Should have to use things when they're worn and old.
So, I think I'll take them down
To my jeweler's, in town,
And just swap 'em off for nicer things in gold.
Jenny.
O—h! But that will cost so much!
Jimmy B.
Now, then, Sissy, don't you touch
On that question, 'cause the new ones I shall buy;
But I'd like to have you go
And help pick them out, you know;
'Cause you know what Mama likes best, more than I.
Jenny.
But I really can't leave home.
Jimmy B.
Oh, I think you'd better come;
For it won't be long before I bring you back.
Jenny. [Hesitating.]
I have half a mind to go.
Mama'd let me.
Jimmy B. That I know.
So get ready, while I go to work and pack.
Jenny. [Deliberating.]
She said: “Jenny, do not go.”
But, of course, she could not know
That her cousin, Mr. Algernon St. Clair,
Would come here to take me out.
Oh, I know what I'm about,
And I'll go along with him, I do declare.
[Goes to closet and brings out her red cloak and hood.]
Jimmy B.
What a pretty cloak and hood!
Jenny.
Mama made them. She's so good!
Jimmy B.
Good as gold! Just wear them, won't you?
That's a dear.
Jenny.
But I mustn't get them wet.
Jimmy B.
I won't let you; don't you fret.
I'll take care of them when once we go from here.
Now, then—are you ready, Sis?
Jenny.
Yes—but, then, I mustn't miss
To see everything locked up all safe and tight,
So that none of those old tramps—
My! but aren't they horrid scamps?—
Can sneak in before we both get back to-night.
Jimmy B. [Looking at doors and windows.]
Oh, well! Everything's secure.
Jenny.
Did you look?
Jimmy B. Oh, yes. I'm sure.
So let's both be off at once, without delay.
[Noise outside—Jimmy starts, guiltily.]
Jimmy B.
Hello, there, now! What was that?
Jenny.
Where?
Jimmy B. Out there!
Jenny. It was the cat!
Jimmy B.
No, it wasn't.
Jenny. P'r'aps it's Mama!
Jimmy. [Starting for the door.]Get away!
[Door opens suddenly. Johnny Stout bursts in and then stops, astonished.]
Johnny.
Goodness, Jenny! What's this mean?
Jenny.
What?
Johnny. Why this confusing scene?
Are you moving?
Jenny. No, I'm going out to walk.
Johnny.
Going out? Whom with? and where?
Jenny. [Points to J. B.]
Mr. Algernon St. Clair.
Jimmy B. [Loftily.]
So don't keep us here, young feller, with your talk.
Johnny. [Suspiciously.]
Jenny, who's that party there?
[Points to J. B.]
Jenny. [Pouting.]
Mr. Algernon St. Clair—
Mama's cousin, who has come here from Nevada.
Johnny.
From Nevada!—How you talk!
[Suddenly to Jimmy B.]
Well, my friend, you'll have to walk!
Pretty quick, sir, too, before I make it harder!
Jimmy B.
Why! You saucy little cub,
Why!—I'll have to thrash you, Bub.
Just you scatter, or I'll help you with my toe, sir!
Johnny. [Quickly pulling out a pistol from the table-drawer, and pointing it at Jimmy B.]
Do you see this little toy?
There's six pills for you, my boy,
Unless you drop that stuff at once and—go, sir!
Jimmy B. [To Jenny, appealingly.]
Look here, Sis, this isn't square!
Jenny. [Protesting.]
Mr. Algernon St. Clair!
Johnny. [Contemptuously.]
Mr. Algernon St. Fiddlesticks, my Jenny!
Why, this sneaking fellow, here,
Is just out of jail, my dear!
He's a tramp, without a single honest penny.
Jimmy B. [Stepping toward him.]
That's a lie!
Johnny. [Levels pistol at him.]
Hush! don't you talk.
Drop your bundle, sir, and walk,
Or I'll shoot you like a dog, without objection.
Now, then—go, sir, or I'll fire!
Put your hands up!—higher! higher!
Wait here, Jenny: I'll just sever this connection.
[He backs J. B. out of the room at the muzzle of the pistol; Jenny listens for a while, and then sinks on a chair and cries.]
Jenny.
Just a horrid, dirty tramp!
What an awful, awful scamp!
Oh, what shall I say to Mama? Dearie, dear!
If I'd only minded her
Such a thing could not occur,
And she'll never trust me so again, I fear.
[Cries a little longer. Then jumps up, indignantly.]
Oh, but what a horrid bear!
Mr. Algernon St. Clair! [Contemptuously.]
What an awful, awful, awful wicked story!
[Enter Johnny.]
Oh, but Johnny, where is he?
Johnny.
He's as safe as safe can be.
Fast in jail, now, all alone and in his glory.
I just marched him to the gate;
There I made him stand and wait
Till I saw a big policeman come along;
Then, when I had told the tale,
He just walked him off to jail,
And so there your cousin's locked up, good and strong.
Jenny.
Oh, don't say my cousin, please!
Johnny.
Well, 't was just the tightest squeeze!
But how did he, Jenny, get you in his snare?
Jenny.
He was so polite and kind!
Johnny.
Oh, you goosey! Oh, how blind!
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Mr. Algernon St. Clair!
Jenny.
Now, don't laugh, please; for, you see,
It did seem all right to me;
And I thought he meant to do just what he said.
Dear! but what will Mama say,
When she comes back home to-day?
Oh, I wish, I wish that I could hide my head!
Johnny.
Why, just tell the whole thing out,
And say how it came about.
Jenny.
Well, I will. And, Johnny, I will tell her, too,
How you came, so bold and brave—
Johnny. [Interrupting.]
Oh, no! that'll do to save.
Jenny.
But I shouldn't have been saved, dear, without you!
Johnny.
Never mind, my Jenny, then;
But I guess you'll know again
That to mind what Mama says, alone is good.
Jenny.
Yes, I shall!
Johnny. And, now it's through,
I shall always think of you,
[Taking her hand.]
Little Jenny, as the New Red Riding-hood.
[Curtain]
