A SCHOOL TEACHER.
A gentleman from Swampville, State of New York, was telling how many different occupations he had attempted. Among others he had tried school teaching. "How long did you teach?" asked a by-stander.
"Wal, I didn't teach long; that is, I only went to teach."
"Did you hire out?"
"Wal, I didn't hire out; I only went to hire out."
"Why did you give it up?"
"Wal, I gave it up—for some reason or nuther. You see, I traveled into a deestrict and inquired for the trustees. Somebody said Mr. Snickles was the man I wanted to see. So I found Mr. Snickles,—named my objic—interduced myself—and asked him what he thought about lettin' me try my luck with the big boys and unruly gals of the deestrict. He wanted to know if I really thought myself capable; and I told him I wouldn't mind him asken me a few easy questions in 'rithmetic, jography, or showin' my handwritin'. But he said, No, never mind, he could tell a good teacher by his gait. 'Let me see you walk off a little ways,' says he, 'and I can tell jis's well's I'd heared you examined,' says he.
"He sot in the door as he spoke, and I thought, he looked a little skittish; but I was consider'bly frustrated, and didn't mind much; so I turned about and walked off as smart as I know'd how. He said he would tell me when to stop, so I kep' on 'till I tho't I'd gone far 'nough; I then 'spected suthin' was to pay, and looked round. The door was shet, and Snickles was gone!"