FLATFOOTED COURTSHIP.
One long summer afternoon there came to Mr. Davidson's the most curious specimen of an old bachelor the world ever heard of. He was old, gray, wrinkled, and odd. He hated women, especially old maids, and wasn't afraid to say so. He and aunt Patty had it hot and heavy, whenever chance threw them together; yet still he came, and it was noticed that aunt Patty took unusual pains with her dress whenever he was expected. One day the contest waged unusually strong. Aunt Patty left him in disgust and went out into the garden. "The bear!" she muttered to herself, as she stooped to gather a blossom which attracted her attention.
"What did you run away for?" said a gruff voice close to her side.
"To get rid of you."
"You didn't do it, did you?"
"No, you are worse than a burdock bur."
"You won't get rid of me neither."
"I won't! eh?"
"Only in one way."
"And what?"
"Marry me!"
"What! us two fools get married? What will people say?"
"That's nothing to us. Come, say yes or no, I'm in a hurry."
"Well, no, then."
"Very well, good bye. I shan't come again."
"But stop a bit—what a pucker to be in!"
"Yes or no?"
"I must consult"—
"All right—I thought you was of age. Good bye."
"Jabez Andrews, don't be a fool. Come back, come back, I say. Why, I believe the critter has taken me for earnest. Jabez Andrews, I'll consider."
"I don't want no considering. I'm gone. Becky Hastings is waiting for me. I thought I'd give you the first chance. All right. Good bye."
"Jabez! Jabez! That stuck up Becky Hastings shan't have him, if I die for it. Jabez—yes. Do you hear? Y-e-s!"