HARD SQUEEZING.
A gentleman from New York, who had been in Boston for the purpose of collecting some money due him in that city, was about returning, when he found that one bill of a hundred dollars had been overlooked. His landlord, who knew the debtor, thought it a doubtful case; but added that if it was collectable at all, a tall, rawboned Yankee, then dunning a lodger in another part of the hall, would "worry it out" of the man. Calling him up, therefore, he introduced him to the creditor, who showed him the account.
"Wall, Squire," said he, "'taint much use o' tryin', I guess. I know that critter. You might as well try to squeeze ile out of Bunker Hill Monument as to c'lect a debt out of him. But any how, Squire, what'll you give, sposin' I do try?"
"Well, Sir, the bill is one hundred dollars, I'll give you—yes, I'll give you half, if you'll collect it."
"'Greed," replied the collector, "there's no harm in tryin', any way."
Some weeks after, the creditor chanced to be in Boston, and in walking up Tremont street, encountered his enterprising friend.
"Look o' here," said he, "Squire. I had considerable luck with that bill o' yourn. You see, I stuck to him like a log to a root, but for the first week or so 'twant no use—not a bit. If he was home, he was short; if he wasn't home I could get no satisfaction. 'By the by,' says I, after goin' sixteen times, 'I'll fix you!' says I. So I sat down on the door-step, and sat all day and part of the evening, and I began airly next day; but about ten o'clock he 'gin in.' He paid me MY half, and I gin him up the note!"