PRINTER AND DUTCHMAN.
Seldom does a live Dutchman get the credit of more smart things than are set down to him in this catechism that he puts to a journeyman printer.
A Dutchman sitting at the door of his tavern in the Far West, is approached by a tall, thin Yankee, who is emigrating westward on foot, with a bundle on a cane over his shoulder:
"Vell, Misther Valking Sthick, vat you vant?"
"Rest and refreshments," replied the printer.
"Super and lotchin, I reckon?"
"Yes, supper and lodging, if you please."
"Pe ye a Yankee peddler, mit chewelry in your pack, to sheat the gals?"
"No, sir, I am no Yankee peddler."
"A singin'-master, too lazy to work?"
"No, sir."
"A shenteel shoemaker, vat loves to measure te gals' feet and hankles petter tan to make te shoes?"
"No, sir, or I should have mended my own shoes."
"A pook achent, vat podders te school committees till they do vat you vish, shoost to get rid of you?"
"Guess again, sir. I am no book agent."
"Te tyfels! a dentist, preaking te people's jaws at a dollar a shnag, and running off mit my daughter?"
"No sir, I am no tooth-puller."
"Prenologus, ten, feeling te young folks, heads like so much cabbitch?"
"No, I am no phrenologist."
"Vell, ten, vat the mischief can you be? Shoost tell, and ye shall have te pest sassage for supper, and shtay all night, free gratis, mitout a cent, and a shill of whiskey to start mit in te morning."
"I am an humble disciple of Faust—a professor of the art that preserves all arts—a typographer at your service."
"Votch dat?"
"A printer, sir: a man that prints books and newspapers."
"A man vat printish nooshpapers! oh yaw! yaw! ay, dat ish it. A man vat printish nooshpapers! Yaw! yaw! Valk up! a man vat printish nooshpapers! I vish I may pe shot if I didn't dink you vas a poor old dishtrict schoolmaster, who verks for notting and poards around—I tought you vas him!"