THE HUSBAND SHOP
A FABLE FOR HEIRESSES
BY OLIVER HERFORD
ABOVE the plate-glass window-pane,
Inviting every passing gaze,
Hung an inscription, large and plain,
“THE HUSBAND SHOP.” This, in amaze,
Clorinda seeing, stopped wide-eyed,
And stared, then turned and stepped inside.
A floor-walker whose faultlessness
And condescending air proclaimed
One of the table d’haute noblesse,
Approached Clorinda and exclaimed,
With graceful undulating palm:
“Something in husbands? Oui, Madame.”
“We have the latest thing of all
In husbands; kindly step this way.
We’re using them on hats this fall,
In place of plume or floral spray,
The creature being pinned or tied
With chiffon bows on either side.”
He leads the way, all wreathed in smiles,
And wonderful in spotless spats
That flitter like twin butterflies
Along an avenue of hats,
Each one displaying on its brim
A husband—fashion’s latest whim.
Clorinda tries them each in turn
Before the glass; some are too small,
And some too cold, and some too stern,
And some are slightly soiled, and all,
When punctured by the hat-pin’s steel,
Betray by squirms how bored they feel.
At last Clorinda came to one
Marked “Dobbs,” that scarce seemed worth her while;
But when she tried it on for fun,
It met the hat-pin with a smile,
As if to say, “Oh, beauteous miss,
Even a stab from you is bliss!”
“The very thing! but thrown away
Upon a hat!” Clorinda cried.
“’T would make a sweet corsage bouquet.”
The shoppers stared quite stupefied
To see Clorinda Dobbs depart
Wearing a husband next her heart.
Drawing by F. R. Gruger