APPROPRIATE SALUTATIONS
| To the fireman: Go to blazes! To the butcher: May you never make a miss-steak in your endeavor to make both ends meat! To the baker: May you always have the dough, not too much crust, and the means to loaf whenever you wish to! To the spinster: May you ever be the matchless but not the mateless woman you are now! To the young physician: May you wait, like Patience on a monument, till finally you shall have lots of monuments on your patients! To the seamstress: May life always seam sew-sew in your hemmysphere! To the dentist: May you always enjoy a pull and be able to fill many an aching void and long-felt want! To the poet: May you have many more verses than reverses. | Health Hint: Many are cold, but few are frozen. |
| SUNDAY | A GREAT JAG |
| A man may think he's a terror to drink When he really is nothing to brag on, For it's true, we infer, that a big chestnut burr Gets the awfullest, all-around jag on. | |
| MONDAY | |
| TUESDAY | |
| WEDNESDAY | (6,99,950 B.C.) Eve appears in a peek-a-boo waist. |
| THURSDAY | |
| FRIDAY | (1509) Henry VIII began to get married. |
| SATURDAY | |
| AUGUST | |
| A man admires a woman for what he thinks she is; a woman admires a man for what she thinks he has. |