SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC

(Recent Interpretations)

AQUARIUS, the waterman, indicating what many a man becomes on the first of January. PISCES, the fishes, indicating that by February he begins to be just as thirsty. ARIES, the ram, indicating that in March he begins to meditate on the virtues of bock beer. TAURUS, the bull, indicating that by April his disposition is surly and it's a toss-up whether he really remains a waterman. GEMINI, the twins, indicating the result of the toss-up and how he feels toward his fellowman in May. CANCER, the crab, indicating the backward interest with which he listens to his wife's plans for the summer. Health Hint:
For a turned ankle—a nicely turned feminine ankle—a low shoe, a short skirt, and a drop-stitch stocking are recommended.

(Continued on next left-hand page.)

SUNDAY
MONDAY(1851) Vigilance Committee organized in San Francisco.
(1906) Order of Muck-rakers established in Washington.
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY(1525 B.C.) Pharaoh's daughter finds Moses in the Bull-rushes.
(1906 A.D.) Roosevelt finds a "joker" in the meat bill.
THURSDAYINFINITUDE!
Man looks at the stars and with wonder unspeakable
He thinks on their source which he knows is unseekable:
He asks who designed all the planets so beautiful,
But no one has ever unscrewed the unscrutable.
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
JULY
An earthquake is not what it is cracked up to be.