SPRING, GENTLE SPRING

One life-size morning nearly six thousand years ago Jubal sat outside of dear old Eden, whanged his harp and warbled the following: "Gentle Spring has come at last,
So keep your furnace fires full blast!" It was thus that Spring was invented, also the first Spring poet. But why Spring should appeal to humanity as a season of romance, no one who gives this problem serious thought can imagine. It was in the Spring that poor old Adam first had to work, and from that time on we have had that tired feeling in the Spring. (See footnote.) It was also in the Spring that Eve wearied of her fig-leaf toque. She stuck a couple lyre bird tails in one side, three lotos buds in the other, and that settled it. Ever since man has had to hustle in the Spring to get his wife a new hat. (See footnote.) It was in the Spring that Cain moved. That became a habit with humanity and knocked more romance out of Spring. FOOTNOTE—Also Summer, Autumn, and Winter. 		Cheese Hint:
Keep Limburger cheese closely confined under glass until it ceases to struggle. To Cure Homesickness:
Think how you would have to be mowing the lawn or tending the furnace if you were there.
SUNDAYA stuffed stork is the best stork.
—Mrs. Grundy.
MONDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAYDo not pay any bills to-day. Your creditors may die during the night.
THURSDAY
FRIDAYIf there is ice on the ground do not try to go barefoot.
SATURDAY
MARCH
The text which bids a man love his neighbor as himself makes no mention of said neighbor's wife.