ADMIRAL PYE AND THE INQUISITORS.
Admiral Pye having been on a visit to Southampton, and the gentleman under whose roof he resided observing an unusual intimacy between him and his secretary, inquired into the degree of their relationship. The admiral informed him that they were not related, but their intimacy arose from a singular circumstance, which, by his permission, he would relate.
The admiral said, when he was a captain he was cruising in the Mediterranean. While on that station he received a letter from shore, stating that the unhappy author of the letter was by birth an Englishman; that, having been on a voyage to Spain, he was enticed while there to become a Papist, and, in process of time, was made a member of the Inquisition; that there he beheld the abominable wickedness and barbarities of the inquisitors.
His heart recoiled at having embraced a religion so horribly cruel and so repugnant to the nature of God, that he was stung with remorse to think that, if his parents knew what and where he was, their hearts would break with grief; that he was resolved to escape, if he (the captain) would send a boat on shore at such a time and place, but begged secrecy, since, if his intentions were discovered, he should be immediately assassinated.
The captain returned for answer that he could not with propriety send a boat, but if he could devise any means to come on board, he would receive him as a British subject, and protect him. He did so; but being missed, there was soon raised a hue and cry, and he was followed to the ship.
A holy inquisitor demanded him, but he was refused; another, in the name of his Holiness the Pope, claimed him, but the captain did not know him, or any other master, but his own sovereign, King George. At length a third holy brother approached. The young man recognized him at a distance, and, in terror, ran to the captain, entreating him not to be deceived by him, for he was the most false, wicked, and cruel monster in all the Inquisition. He was introduced, the young man being present, and, to obtain his object, began with the bitterest accusations against him; then he turned to the most fulsome flatteries of the captain; and, lastly, offered him a sum of money to resign him. The captain treated him with apparent attention, said his offer was very handsome, and, if what he affirmed were true, the person in question was unworthy of the English name or of his protection.
The holy brother was elated; he thought his errand was accomplished. While drawing his purse-strings, the captain inquired what punishment would be inflicted upon him. He replied that it was uncertain; but as his offences were atrocious, it was likely that his punishment would be exemplary. The captain asked if he thought he would be burned in a dry pan. He replied, that must be determined by the Holy Inquisition, but it was not improbable.
The captain then ordered the great copper to be heated, but no water to be put in. All this while the young man stood trembling, his cheeks resembling death; he expected to become an unhappy victim to avarice and superstition.
The cook soon announced that the orders were executed. "Then I command you to take this fellow," pointing to the inquisitor, "and fry him alive in the copper." This unexpected command thunderstruck the holy father. Alarmed for himself, he rose to be gone. The cook began to bundle him away. "Oh, good captain! good captain! spare me, spare me!" "Have him away," replied the captain. "Oh, no, my good captain!" "Have him away. I'll teach him to attempt to bribe a British commander to sacrifice the life of an Englishman to gratify a herd of bloody men." Down the inquisitor fell upon his knees, offering him all his money, and promising never to return if he would let him begone. When the captain had sufficiently alarmed him, he dismissed him, warning him never to come again on such an errand.
What must have been the reverse of feelings in the young man to find himself thus happily delivered. He fell upon his knees, in a flood of tears, before the captain, and poured a thousand blessings upon his brave and noble deliverer.
"This," said the admiral to the gentleman, "is the circumstance that began our acquaintance. I took him to be my servant; he served me from affection; mutual attachment ensued, and it has inviolably subsisted and increased to this day."—From Cyclopædia of Moral and Religious Anecdotes, with Introductory Essay by Dr. Cheever.