STATIONERY LETTER.
(For the Mirror.)
TO MR. ——, STATIONER, HOLBORN.
SIR,—Sometime ago I wrote to you to send me a ream of foolscap, which I begged might be sent without delay, as it was for the purpose of writing out my Christmas bills. I think you must have forgotten me; and if I do not have the paper soon, I may wear a fool's-cap on account of not having my bills out in time. Mr. ——, who, in your absence, must sustain the greatest weight of business, and is, as I may say, the Atlas of your house, was the person I chiefly depended on. As for Mr. ——, one of your household, he dresses in royal purple, and being but in a medium way between sickness and health, was drinking imperial when I saw him, and therefore did not in-quire about the business; nor did I choose to come cap in hand to a gentleman that seemed as stately as an elephant, though to my thinking he is a bundle of conceit, all outside show; in short, a piece of lumberhand, on whom I would not waste paper to write him a note.
My journeyman, who is but a demy sort of a chap, will make but a small hand of the bills, and I shall go to pott. You also will be a sufferer, if you post-pone sending my paper, for you shall have neither plate paper,[7] nor a single crown, no, nor a cartridge of halfpence from me this half year, unless you play your cards better. I have more bills to write out than a bag cap, made of the largest grand eagle you have in your warehouse, could contain; so that I shall look as blue as your sugar-paper, and bestow on you to boot some very ugly prayers, not in single hand, but by thick and thin couples, that will be a fine copy for my young man to take example by, if you disappoint.
Your humble servant, J. J.