THE WATCHMAN'S LAMENT.
As homeward I hurried, within "The Wen,"
At midnight, all alone.
My knees, like the knees of a drunken man,
Foreboding shook, and my eyes began
To see two lamps for one.
The lights burnt blue, as they're wont to do
When Spirits are in the wind.
Ho! ho! thought I, that's an ominous hue,
And a glance on either side I threw,
But I fear'd to look behind.
A smell, as of gas, spread far and wide,
But sulphur it was, I knew;
My sight grew dim, and my tongue was tied,
And I thought of my home, and my sweet fireside,
And the friends I had left at loo!
And I took once more a hurried peep
Along and across the street,
And then I beheld a figure creep,
Like a man that is walking in his sleep,
Or a watchman on his beat.
A lantern, dangling in the wind,
He bore, and his shaggy and thick
Great-coat was one of the dread-nought kind,—
What seem'd his right hand trail'd behind
The likeness of a stick.
The sky with clouds became o'ercast,
And it suddenly set to raining,—
And the gas-lights flicker'd in the blast,
As that thing of the lantern and dread-nought past,
And I heard him thus complaining—
"A murrain seize—a pize upon—
Plague take—the New Police!
Why couldn't they do with the ancient one,
As ages and ages before have done,
And let us remain in peace?
"No more, ah! never more, I fear,
Will a perquisite, (woe is me!)
Or profits, or vails, the Charley cheer;
Then, alas! for his tender consort dear,
And his infant progeny!
"Farewell to the freaks of the jovial spark,
Who rejoiced in a gentle riot,—
To the midnight spree, and the morning lark,
There'll never more be any fun after dark,
And people will sleep in quiet.
"No more shall a Tom or a Jerry now
Engaging in fisty battle,
Break many heads and the peace;—for how,
I should like to know, can there be a row,
When there is ne'er a rattle?
"One cry no more on the ear shall grate,
Convivial friends alarming,
Who straightway start and separate,
Blessing themselves that it is so late;—
To break up a party is charming!
"But our ruthless foe wilt be punish'd anon;—
Bundled out without pity or parley,
His office and occupation gone,
Lost, disgraced, despised, undone,
Oh! then he'll remember the Charley."
Just then I beheld a Jarvey near,
Which on the spot presenting,
I scrambled in like one in fear
With a ghost at his heels, or a flea in his ear,
And he was left lamenting!