THE PICNIC AT TEMPE.
It was the most sultry of the dog-days—Jupiter sat lolling in his arm chair vainly endeavouring to get a quiet nap, and a little further sat Minerva, lulling her father to sleep, as she thought, and keeping him awake, as he thought, by the whirring noise of her spinning-wheel. At length Venus entered the saloon in which they were sitting, and the noise she made effectually aroused the Thunderer. "Venus, my darling, where's your mother-in-law?" said Jupiter raising himself on his elbow.
"In her dressing room," replied Venus, "trying on some of my new beautifying inventions."
"Ah," smiled Jupiter, "you women are never easy but when you're beautifying yourselves: well, go and tell her I think we may as well take a trip down to Tempe, by way of employment this hot day; and send Iris to tell all the other gods to meet us there."
Away tripped Venus to execute her commission, and the Thunderer turned again to doze; but suddenly a thought struck him: "Here, Pallas, go and borrow Mars's curricle for Juno and myself to ride in, for it is much too hot to think of walking, such a day as this, and tell him to put some bottles of nectar in the driving box, d'ye hear?"
In a short time the curricle made its appearance, and Jove and Juno mounted. But Mars's vehicle was constructed for a single gentleman, and not for man and wife, who being rather too heavy for it, broke it down as they descended Olympus, and rolled to the foot of the mountain amidst the suppressed laughter of the other gods, who were winging their way down. Iris was despatched to procure a fresh supply of nectar, which Bacchus declared would nearly exhaust his stock. At last the table was spread in the most delightful part of Tempe, and the top of Ossa was occupied by Hercules with his club to see that no mortal intruded on the revels of the gods, when Jupiter discovered something at a distance running at full speed towards them. "Heyday! what have we here?" he exclaimed; "as I live, my old friend Cerberus, with a note in his jaws; why what can Pluto have got to say? Here, Cer! Cer! Cer! good dog!" The breathless animal dropped the letter at Jupiter's feet and then took his seat on the ground, panting, as well he might, after so long a journey.
"Here's a pretty note," said Jupiter, and he proceeded to read it aloud for the amusement of the company—
"Dear Jove,
"Knowing you are going to have a feast at Tempe I have sent my favourite Cerberus to pick up the crumbs as he gets but poor living in the shades here at Tartarus. Proserpine sends her love to Ceres.
"Yours ever,
"PLUTO."
N.B. "Send Cerberus back at night."
"Faugh! how it stinks of brimstone!" said Jupiter, "we'll give poor Cerberus a meal though, for he looks woefully thin; I should not think Pluto gave him much from his appearance." So down they sat, Cerberus and Jove's eagle being installed under the table, while Minerva's owl, Juno's peacock, and the protegés of the other immortals were left to pick up what they could outside. They had not sat long before the noise of a vast contention was heard, and the cause being sought, it was discovered to be a bone which Jupiter had thrown under the table, and which was violently contested by Cerberus and the eagle. Peace was restored by the expulsion of the offending eagle, as Jove said he ought to know better, having come from Olympus, while Cerberus was brought up in Tartarus. All went on quietly for a time, when Cerberus unfortunately squatted himself down on Jupiter's thunderbolt, which its master had dropped under the table, and giving a most terrific yell, rushed between the legs of Mercury's chair, and upset him in a twinkling, while, almost before he could rise, poor Cerberus was treading the "facilis descensus Averni," with his posteriors sadly blackened by the accident; and roaring with pain as the gods were with laughter. Dinner passed on without any more accidents, and when the ladies retired, Vulcan and Mars sat down to écarté, at which the former proved the winner. Apollo drily remarked, (having just finished his daily journey and joined the gods) that Vulcan had netted Mars's cash as well as himself. Mars rose in a great rage, when Jupiter recommended him not to be nettled, which only made him ten times more so. A quarrel was the consequence; and Jupiter thinking it best to return before bloodshed was committed, asked Apollo to yoke his team again, and drive them home, which he readily consented to do: that night seemed unusually light to the inhabitants of the hemisphere, and many learned heads were puzzled to discover the cause of the phenomenon, but though many explanations were given, the real reason remained undiscovered to this day—in which I have the pleasure of laying it before my readers.
REX.