EARLY RISERS PUT ON THE DEFENSIVE.
Philadelphia Writer Says Only the Lower Animals Go to Bed and Get Up With the Sun.
The delightful Elia, who is the closest personal friend one may find in all literature, exposed certain fallacies once and for all to the satisfaction of those who are whimsically inclined. However, since not all minds have the whimsical turn, the fallacies continue to bob up from time to time with a vitality that is suspiciously Antæan.
Consider the proverb: “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” Any schoolboy will tell you that this is not so; and yet the fallacious statement persists—parents still preach it; aged money-makers explain their success by it.
Says the Philadelphia Public Ledger:
The very early riser is usually an opinionated individual, and it is likely that his habit of early rising is his only claim to distinction. More poetry has been written about eventide than the dawn. This is quite conclusive, for poets are sensible folk and not much given to the folly of early rising.
Some good literary work has been done in the early hours, but this is exceptional. Sir Walter Scott, it is said, wrote the most of his romances before breakfast; but a multitude of authors have produced immortal works by the light of the midnight oil without smelling of it.
Wilson Denounced Them.
Early risers descant rapturously upon the delicious freshness of the morning air and other delights which it is reported can be enjoyed about sunrise, against which may be offset the loveliness of the dying day, the deepening shadows of the twilight, and the charm of moonlight. The glories of the dawn rest in rumor only to the most of us, and must be taken on faith. The suffrages of the majority are for the sunset, and the majority rules in the Republic.
John Wesley wrote an excellent sermon on early rising. Doddridge took pride in the fact that he was at work at five in the morning; but the famous Doctor Wilson (Christopher North) scouted the whole brood of sunrise workers in a lengthy essay, which is the comfort and solace of all lazy and normal people.
Wilson refused to take it for granted that early rising is a virtuous habit, or that early risers are a particularly meritorious set.
“I object to both clauses of the bill,” says the courageous dissenter. “Early risers are generally milksop spoonies, ninnies with broad, unmeaning faces and groset eyes, cheeks odiously rosy, and with great calves to their legs.”
One of Primitive Man’s Habits.
This indictment was written in Scotland. Matters may not be quite so disgraceful here. Wilson questioned the motives of his fellow countrymen who sally forth at an impossibly early hour, and suggested that their ambition is merely to get an omnivorous appetite for breakfast.
“Let no knavish prig purse up his mouth and erect his head when he meets an acquaintance who goes to bed and rises at a gentlemanly hour.”
The lower orders of creation go to bed and rise with the sun. Primitive man probably had this vicious habit. Civilization has gradually reduced the ranks of early risers to the healthy and vigorous persons who purvey ice and milk with much clatter when they ought to be abed. The length of human life is increasing, and this is due to late rising. There can be no doubt about it. The sun rises hereabouts at this season [July] at 4:30 A.M., and few there be who have the nerve to witness the phenomenon.