HO! EVERY ONE THAT THIRSTETH!
The corn crop up in the Bigbyville neighborhood is clean, the cotton shows not a spear of grass. The potato field looks as clean and green as a billiard cushion floor and the darkies are still, still hoeing. All this was caused by a sermon old Wash preached there on foot-washing day last month, a literal extract of which I got from the old man himself:
“Brudderin’ an’ Sisterin’—You’ll find my text in de six chapter of Noah’s pistols to de Gentiles. Ho! every one dat thirsteth! Ho!
“De commandments we get from de Bible am beyond de scrutiny of man, an’ we natchurly think dat when a man gets hot an’ thirsty de thing fur him to do is to hunt de spring branch an’ quench his burnin’ lips. But not so. Here it is sot down in black an’ white in de book ob books, dat when you git thirsty, jes’ keep on hoein’. Ho! every one dat thirsteth! Ho! And dat is right; de Bible is allers right. Hoein’ is good fur de limbs, good fur de wind, good fur de crap, an’ good fur de soul. De sun am hot now, but de wind’ll be cold agin. De rays pour down now, but de sleet’ll come bye an’ bye. Dese am de rays of drought an’ thirst, but ef you want to set back when de rains come, smoke yo’ pipe an’ sing dat song—
“Bile dat cabbage down
For it ain’t gwine to rain no mo’—
jes’ take off yo’ coat, shed yo’ shirt, an’ foller de corn an’ tater row, an’ ef you git thirsty don’t stop to drink, but jes’ keep on a-hoein’!
“Ho! everyone dat thirsteth! ho!
“An’ ain’t dat de law an’ de sense? Whut you wanter stop an’ drink fur? Won’t you jes’ get thirty agin? Keep on a-hoein’!
“What did old Noah do when de windows ob de heabens was opened an’ de flood ob de great deep began to kiver de earth, an’ de fools got round him an’ laughed an’ ax him whut he buildin’ dat ole ark for? He was tired, an’ thirsty, an’ hot, but he kep’ on a-hoein’, for he knowed he’d get water enough bye and bye. Ho! every one dat thirsteth! ho!
“What did Abraham do when dey got roun’ him an’ tried to stop him from gwine to de Promis’ Lan’? He kept on a hoein’ for Jordan.
“Don’t let de flesh ob dis wurl’ fool you. Things ain’t whut dey seem. Water looks mighty good, specially to Baptists, but whut we Meferdists want to do is to keep on a hoein’. De wicked of Noah’s day didn’t hoe any. Didn’t dey git water enough? De Egyptians didn’t hoe enny, but follered de Israelites into de Red Sea. Didn’t dey get water enough? Ole Jonah didn’t obey de Lord an’ hoe to de mark, an’ de water swallowed him fust an’ de whale swallered ’im next. Let dat be a warnin’ to you to stick to de tex’ of de Bible an’ de doctrine of de church, an’ when you get thirsty keep on a-hoein’. It’s hard now, but it’ll be sweet bye and bye. It’s hot now, but it’ll be cold bye and bye. You git mighty thirsty an’ you think de taters ain’t never goin’ to come, but when de winter rains come, an’ de winds blow, an’ you sot down round de big fiah wid de sweet brown ’possum an’ dem taters, you work so hard fur to get in de heat, an’ sweat, an’ thirst ob summer, den will de heart ob de faithful be glad, den will you shout an’ sing:
“Ho! every one that thirsteth, ho!”
This last appeal was too much. The congregation arose in a body at the words ’possum and potatoes and went off to hoe, leaving the old man with no one to pass around the hat.