How Major Drawbar Jones Escaped Expulsion on Serious Charges.
On the opening of the meeting the secretary announced a communication from Eufaula, Ala., making charges against Major Drawbar Jones, an honorary member of the club. He was charged with:
1. Going on a rabbit hunt while his wife lay at the point of death.
2. Putting burrs under the saddle of his old mule to get up an artificial enthusiasm.
Brother Gardner said that it was a question for debate, and Giveadam Jones arose and observed that he could never vote to convict a brother on the first charge. While there might be no question that Major Jones went out to hunt rabbits while his wife was dying, what was his object? Was it for amusement, or was it to provide her with rabbit soup? The accused should be given the benefit of the doubt. As to charge No. 2, that was a different matter. A man who would put burrs under his saddle, whether that saddle was on a horse or a mule, deserved the severest condemnation.
Waydown Bebee couldn't excuse the Major for going on that rabbit hunt. A dying wife does not care for soup of any sort. As to the burrs under the saddle, they might have got there by accident. Even if they were put there by design, there was no evidence that the mule objected. He owned a mule, whose demeanor could not be changed one iota by all the burrs in the State of Michigan.
Shindig Watkins, Elder Toots, Samuel Shin, and others argued pro and con, and the question of whether the Major should be bounced was put to a vote. The vote stood 43 for, and 44 against, and he thus escaped by the skin of his teeth.
—Detroit Free Press.