Oklahoma Hotel Rules
1. If the bugs are troublesome you'll find the kloroform in a bottle on the shelf.
2. Gents goin' to bed with their boots on will be charged extra.
3. Three raps at the door means that there is a murder in the house, and you must get up.
4. Please rite your name on the wall paper so that we know you've been here.
5. The other leg of the chair is in the closet if you need it.
6. If that hole where that pane of glass is out is too much for you, you'll find a pair of pants behind the door to stuff in it.
7. The shooting of a pistol is no cause for any alarm.
8. If you're too cold, put the oilcloth over your bed.
9. Caroseen lamps extra; candles free, but they mustn't burn all night.
10. Don't tare off the wall paper to lite your pipe with. Nuff of that already.
11. Guests will not take out them bricks in the mattress.
12. If it rains through that hole overhead, you'll find an umbrella under the bed.
13. The rats won't hurt you if they do chase each other across your face.
14. Two men in one room must put up with one chair.
15. Please don't empty the sawdust out of the pillers.
16. Don't kick about the roches. We don't charge extra.
—Spokane Globe.