She Considered it a Deliberate Insult.
When General O. O. Howard was marching down through Tennessee, General Whittlesey, late president of the Freedmen's Bank, was assistant adjutant general on his staff. Whittlesey had been a clergyman down in Maine, and was fully as strait-laced as Howard. One day Howard drove into a farm-yard from which Whittlesey was just departing. A woman and her grown daughter were standing outside the door.
"My good woman," said Howard, "will you kindly give me a drink of water?"
"No. Get out of my yard. A lot of more impident Yankees I never seed."
"But I have done nothing and said nothing out of the way, and will severely punish any of my soldiers who should say or do anything wrong."
"That sojer insulted me," said she, pointing to the retreating form of General Whittlesey. "He axed me for a drink of water and when I done give it to him he sassed me."
"But—but that is General Whittlesey, of my staff. I am sure he wouldn't be rude to any woman."
"Maw," said the girl, pulling her mother's dress, "I reckon he moughtn't have meant anything misbeholden."
"Hush; don't I know low-down blackguard talk when I hears it? He asked me 'what was the State of my nativity?'"
—Washington Post.
"I climb to rest," sings Lucy Larwin in a recent poem. So do we, Lucy. Our sleeping apartment is on the first floor from the roof.
—Light.
Softleigh—What is the matter with your nose?
Sardonicus—That is a berth mark.
Softleigh—I don't remember ever seeing it before.
Sardonicus—No: I just got it last night coming down from Minneapolis. I had an upper berth in the Pullman, and the train had a collision in Wisconsin.
—Chicago Liar.
It often happens that when a young man is disappointed in life he commits suicide. When he is disappointed in marriage he either "grins and bears it," or gets a divorce.
—Norristown Herald.