1909


CONTENTS

[ DESERTED ]

[ HOMEWARD BOUND ]

[ SELF-HELP ]

[ SENTENCE DEFERRED ]

[ “MATRIMONIAL OPENINGS” ]

[ ODD MAN OUT ]

[ “THE TOLL-HOUSE” ]

[ PETER'S PENCE ]

[ THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY ]

[ PRIZE MONEY ]

[ DOUBLE DEALING ]

[ KEEPING UP APPEARANCES ]


ILLUSTRATIONS

[ He Seemed to Take a Fancy To Rupert from the Fust. ]

[ An Elderly Old Party Wot Would Keep Jabbing 'im in The Ribs With Her Umbrella. ]

[ “Back!” Ses Rupert in a Whisper, Pointing. ]

[ She Stood Blocking up the Doorway With Her 'ands on Her 'ips. ]

[ Taking One of the Vases from The Mantelpiece, he Dashed It To Pieces on the Fender. ]

[ “I Called About the Bill in The Window.” ]

[ “'I—i Thought I Smelled Something Cooking,' he Said.” ]

[ “'K-k-k-kch! K-kch!' he Said, Explosively.” ]

[ “''E Comes Along and Hits You over Your Tenderest Corn With a Oar.'” ]

[ “Mr. Cubbins Winked at 'im and Tapped 'is Nose.” ]

[ “Let Drive With All his Might in 'is Face. “ ]

[ “'Wot on Earth's the Matter, Ginger?'” ]

[ “An Elderly Man With a Wooden Leg, Who Joined The Indignant Officer in the Pursuit.” ]

[ “He Was Administering First Aid to a Right Leg.” ]

[ “She Took up a Handful of Coal-dust And, Ordering Him To Stoop, Shampooed Him With Hearty Good-will.” ]

[ “Give This to the Skipper, Will You, My Lad?” Said The Sergeant. ]

[ “Miss Dowson, Subsiding in Her Chair, Went on With Her Book.” ]

[ “I Just Came in to Tell You a Joke.” ]

[ “He Edged his Chair a Little Nearer to Flora.” ]

[ “Mr. Foss Bade Them Good-night Suddenly.” ]

[ “She Muttered Some Strange Words and Bent Her Head Lower Over the Girl's Hand.” ]

[ “Friendship, he Said, Decidedly, is a Deloosion and A Snare.” ]

[ “When They Turned up They Found Emma and 'er Friend Waiting for Them.” ]

[ “He Put his Arm Round Mrs. Jennings's Waist and Made 'er Dance to a Piano-organ.” ]

[ “He Was Running Down the Road Without 'is Hat As Hard As He Could Run.” ]

[ “I'm a Poor Man, But I Wouldn't Spend the Night in That House for a Hundred Pounds.” ]

[ “They Saw the Gates of The House Before Them.” ]

[ “Barnes, Stood Peering at the Sleepers in Silence And Dropping Tallow over the Floor.” ]

[ “Into a Vast Bare Kitchen With Damp Walls and A Broken Floor.” ]

[ “All Three Stood Gazing at the Dead Man Below.” ]

[ “Put a Bishop in My Clothes, and You'd Ask 'im to 'ave A 'arf-pint As Soon As You Would Me.” ]

[ “Mr. Goodman Came in a Four-wheel Cab With A Big Bag and A Fat Umbrella.” ]

[ “'It Aint So 'orrid As I 'ad Fancied.' Ses Sam.” ]

[ “He Reached Acrost the Table and Shook 'ands With Peter.” ]

[ “After Some Years Spent in Long Voyages” ]

[ “Then and There Mr. Letts's Mind Was Made Up. ]

[ “A Disagreeable-looking Man Was Eying Them in Some Astonishment from the Doorway.” ]

[ “What's Mine is Mother's.” ]

[ “The Sign of the Cauliflower Was Stiff With Snow.” ]

[ “He's Won It!” he Ses, in a Choky Voice. “it's Number 1.” ]

[ “The Door Opened and Henery Walker Came Staggering In.” ]

[ “'Where's Henery Walker?' he Ses, in a Loud Voice.” ]

[ “Stood on the Spacious Common, Inhaling The Salt Smell Of The Sea Below.” ]

[ “An Elderly Boatman, Who, After Looking at Him Hard, Took His Pipe from his Mouth and Bade Him 'good-evening.'” ]

[ “She Piled Mr. Carter's Plate up So Generously That Her Father and Brother Had Ample Time at Their Disposal to Watch Him Eat.” ]

[ “A Gentleman of Middle Age Was Peeping Round the Door.” ]

[ “Superstitiousness is Right and Proper, to a Certain Extent.” ]

[ “Silas Was Very Perlite at Fust.” ]

[ “She Saw Silas Winch Standing at the Foot of The Bed.” ]

[ “With Tears in his Eyes 'e Emptied a Little Barrel O' Beer Down the Sink.” ]

[ “Other wimmen 'as to be satisfied looking at new 'ats.” ]


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