The Book of Good Manners; a Guide to Polite Usage for All Social Functions

by Walter Cox Green

STREET ETIQUETTE.

MEN. If a man is passed on the street without any recognition by an acquaintance, he should hesitate before accepting it as a direct cut, as it may have been an oversight. If it is repeated, he will know its full meaning.

To pass a person whom one knows and to look straight at him without recognition is the rudest way of dropping an acquaintance.

A man should avoid loud and boisterous behavior.

If a man is compelled to force his way through a crowded street, he should do so courteously and with an apology to any one inconvenienced by his act.

In walking three or four abreast, men
should be careful not to obstruct the thoroughfare,
but should quickly fall into single
file when necessary.

A man should greet his acquaintances on the street quietly and courteously, and if on a crowded street, should step out of the way of persons and be brief in his remarks.

In all public places and conveyances a man should offer his seat to a woman, though he is not expected to do so when reserved seats can be obtained—as, in a theatre, at an opera, etc.

ACCIDENTS. In case of accident or danger a man should protect the woman whom he escorts, and take her to a place of safety. If her clothing is torn, or she has met with some accident of which she is unaware, a man may, if he desires, politely raise his hat and call her attention to the fact. If by accident a man jostles a woman or steps upon her dress, he should raise his hat, bow, and apologize, whether he knows her or not.

BOWING. A man should not bow to a woman until she has first recognized him, unless they are old acquaintances.

A man should acknowledge the salutation of a woman on the street, even if he does not know her, as it saves her from embarrassment at her mistake.

When bidding farewell to a woman after a conversation on the street, a man should bow and raise his hat.

If a man offers his seat to a woman in a car or other conveyance, he should raise his hat and bow, while her escort acknowledges the courtesy by doing the same.

When a man opens a door for a woman unknown to him, he should bow, while she enters in advance of him.

A man should raise his hat and bow on all occasions when offering any courtesy to a woman, whether stranger or acquaintance.

A man may bow to an elderly man or person of official position.

A man may offer his services to a woman in crossing a crowded thoroughfare, and should raise his hat and bow when she is safely over, but should, make no comment unless she does so first. He may also offer her assistance in getting on or off a car, raising his hat and bowing without remark.

If a man is accompanied by a woman and another man extends a courtesy to her, he should acknowledge it by bowing and giving a polite "Thank you."

If when walking with a man a woman meets a male acquaintance who bows, her escort should raise his hat and bow, though the two men are strangers to each other. If the escort meets a man known to him, both men should raise their hats and bow.

CANES AND UMBRELLAS. These should be carried vertically, never horizontally, thereby endangering other persons' eyes. Especially is this important when entering cars or going up long flights of steps-as, the stairs of the elevated railroad.

CONVERSATION. A man who meets a woman, and desires to engage in conversation with her, should ask permission to accompany her. If this is granted, he may proceed a short distance, unless requested to go farther.

When meeting a woman on the street and stopping to converse with her, a man should raise his hat and replace it, as it is not now in good form for a man to remain bareheaded until requested by the woman to replace his hat.

A man should avoid stopping a woman on the street to engage her in conversation.

Only an intimate acquaintance with a woman warrants a man joining her on the street. If it is not agreeable, it may be very embarrassing to her.

SMOKING. A man should never smoke while walking with a woman on a street. Smoking on fashionable thoroughfares is bad form.

A man should avoid expectorating upon a sidewalk, and, if it must be done, should walk to the curb and use the street for that purpose.

WALKING. A man should not walk between two women, but at the side nearest the curb.

When walking with a woman, a man should walk near the curb, unless passing an obstruction-as, a building in course of construction-when she should have the outer side to protect her from harm, or from coming in contact with disagreeable things.

A man should offer his right arm to a woman, but this is rarely necessary in the daytime. It is essential, however, and proper for him to do so after dark.

WOMEN. Conduct on the street should always be reserved. It is bad form to loudly laugh or to boldly glance at the passers-by, especially men.

Women should never walk three or four abreast.

Women may salute each other with a bow and a handshake, but a kiss in public is no longer in good form.

During a promenade, where friends pass
and repass, it is not necessary to exchange
greetings to each other.

A polite "Thank you," with a bow and a smile, should be the reward of any man extending a courtesy to a woman.

BOWING. It is the woman's privilege to determine whom she will publicly recognize, and therefore she should bow first to all men whom she desires to favor. This formality is, however, unnecessary with intimate friends.

UMBRELLAS. These should be carried vertically, and never horizontally under the arm.

WALKING. If a woman is walking with a man, and another man stops to speak, it would be in exceeding bad taste to ask him to join her.

A woman should take a man's right arm, but only after dark, unless for some special reason-as, weakness, etc.-it is necessary.

If a woman is walking alone, and a man of her acquaintance stops and speaks, he may ask permission to accompany her farther, which, if agreeable, should be granted. She may stop for a few moments' chat, and shake hands if she wishes. If he stands before her with uncovered head, she should promptly ask him to replace his hat. She should not block the thoroughfare, and should take the initiative if he does not step to one side. If agreeable, an invitation may be extended to him to walk a short distance.

SUBSCRIPTION BALLS.
MEN. Shortly after receiving an invitation to a
subscription ball, a man should leave a card
for the patroness inviting him.

INVITATIONS. In addition to the regular invitations, it is customary to guard against the admission of persons not really invited by the use of vouchers to be shown at the hall door, or some similar precaution is taken.

When a subscriber sends an invitation and a voucher, he should send in the same envelope one of his calling cards.

SUNDAY CALLS. Informal calls may be made on Sunday after three o'clock by business and professional men, provided there are no religious or other scruples on the part of those receiving the calls.

Men should wear afternoon dress.

SUPPERS GIVEN BY MEN—WOMEN. A young woman may accept a man's invitation, provided she has the consent of her mother or guardian, and is assured that a chaperone will be present.

SUPPERS—MEN. Suppers are generally for men. The hours are from ten to eleven. A man can give such entertainments in bachelor apartments or restaurant, and if women are invited, chaperones should be present.

The invitations may be given personally, written, or a visiting-card may be used, giving hour and date. If the supper is given in honor of a special guest, engraved cards or note sheets are used.

Suppers may be of various kinds—such as
Fish, Game, Wine, Champagne.

SUPPERS AND THEATRE PARTIES.
MEN. A man should not invite a young woman
to a theatre party or supper without inviting
her mother or a chaperone to accompany
them. At large theatre parties or suppers,
when there are ten or more guests, several
chaperones should be invited. Any married
or elderly unmarried woman can act as
chaperone, care being taken that they are
well-known and agreeable to all, as much of the
pleasure of the evening depends upon them.
CARRIAGES. A conveyance holding a large party
can be sent to take invited guests to the
entertainment. The chaperone should be
called for first, and should be the last one to
be left at home upon returning. The chaperones
may use their own carriages and call
for guests if they desire. If the chaperones
call for the guests, the men can be met at the
place of amusement. Conveyances should
be provided for guests.

SUPPERS GIVEN BY BACHELORS.
See BACHELORS' SUPPERS.

TABLE ETIQUETTE. It is correct to take a little of all that is offered, though one may not care for it. Bend slightly over the plate when carrying the food to the mouth, resuming upright position afterward.

When drinking from a cup or glass, raise it gracefully to the mouth and sip the contents. Do not empty the vessel at one draught.

Guests should not amuse themselves by handling knife or fork, crumbling bread, or leaning their arms on the table. They should sit back in their chairs and assume an easy position.

A guest at a dinner should not pass a plate or any article to another guest, or serve the viands, unless asked to do so by the hostess.

Upon leaving the table, push the chair back far enough to be out of the way of others.

ACCIDENTS. Accidents, or anything that may be amiss at the table, should be unobserved by a guest unless he is the cause of it. In that event some pleasant remark as to his awkwardness should be made and no more. The waiter should attend to the matter at once.

If a fork or a spoon is dropped it should not be picked up by the guest, but another used, or ask the waiter to provide one.

CONVERSATION. Aim at bright and general conversation, avoiding all personalities and any subject that all cannot join in. This is largely determined by the character of the company. The guests should accommodate themselves to their surroundings.

See also FINGER-BOWL, KNIFE AND FORK,
SECOND HELPING, SEEDS, SPOON, TOOTHPICKS,
WINES, and names of individual fruits and
foods—as, APPLES, BREAD, etc.

TALKING—THEATRES. Conversation during the progress of the play or the opera should be avoided and confined to the intermissions. The theatregoer should avoid all noise, gestures, or actions that would annoy others.

A man would be justified, when annoyed by a person talking loud near him, in asking him politely to speak lower.