THE ABSURD A.B.C.
JOHN LANE
THE BODLEY HEAD
LONDON & NEW YORK
A for the APPLE or Alphabet pie,
Which all get a slice of. Come taste it & try.
B is the BABY who gave Mr. Bunting
Full many a long day’s rabbit skin hunting.
C for the CAT that played on the fiddle
When cows jumped higher than ‘Heigh Diddle Diddle!’
D for the DAME with her pig at the stile,
’Tis said they got over, but not yet a while.
E for the Englishman, ready to make fast
The giant who wanted to have him for breakfast.
F for the Frog in the story you know,
Begun with a wooing but ending in woe.
G for Goosey Gander who wandered upstairs,
And met the old man who objected to prayers.
H for poor Humpty who after his fall,
Felt obliged to resign his seat on the wall.
I for the Inn where they wouldn’t give beer,
To one with too much and no money, I fear.
J does for poor Jack and also for Jill,
Who had so disastrous a tumble down hill.
K for calm Kitty, at dinner who sat,
While all the good folks watched the dog & the cat.
L for Little man, gun and bullets complete,
Who shot the poor duck and was proud of the feat.
M for Miss Muffet, with that horrid spider,
Just dropped into tea and a chat beside her.
N for the Numerous children, they who
Were often too much for their mother in Shoe.
O the Old person that cobwebs did spy,
And went up to sweep ’em Oh ever so high!
P for the Pie made of blackbirds to sing,
A song fit for supper, a dish for a king.
Q for Queen Anne who sat in the sun
Till she, more than the lily resembled the bun.
R stands for Richard & Robert, those men
Who didn’t get up one fine morning till ten!
S for the Snail that showed wonderful fight,
Putting no less than twenty-four tailors to flight!
T stands for Tom, the son of the piper,
May his principles change as his years grow riper.
U for the Unicorn, keeping his eye on
The coveted crown, and its counsel the Lion.
V is for Victuals, including the drink,
The old woman lived on surprising to think!
W for the WOMAN who not over nice,
Made very short work of the three blind mice.
X is the X that is found upon buns,
Which daughters not liking may come in for sons.
Y for Yankee Doodle of ancient renown,
Both he & his pony that took him to town.
Z for the Zany who looked like a fool,
For when he was young he neglected his school.
