§ 120
In reality this setting is something that should take place during and not before marriage, if it must take place at all in a man. It were much better if it took place not at all in the husband but in the wife.
This overvaluation of a smile, a dimple, a look, a timbre of the voice, a perfume or froufrou, is used by men even before marriage as a sexual stimulus when in reality none is needed.
The question of most vital importance is not so much, however, the shape of eyebrow, the laughter rhythm, or other mannerism or characteristic of a woman that causes a man to decide that he wants to marry her, for that is in most cases in the unconscious, and therefore actually inaccessible to him except through much more study than he is able or willing to give it. The fetishes made by the unconscious, kept in the unconscious, and causing selection on the man’s part are as nothing in importance to the fetishes that he had innately or has acquired that give overvaluation for him to certain phases of the love episode itself.
It is likely that in highly sensitive and intellectual men some ordinarily unobserved or half-consciously noted phases of action or being are major causes in the man’s premature arrival at the automatic and uncontrollable part of his own action in the love episode. As an illustration might be mentioned the undue prominence taken in an episode by the bodily fragrance (natural, not the result of artificial perfume) noticed and especially dilated upon verbally by one husband, who thereupon completely lost control of himself at an early stage and was unable to gain the allerotic result of his wife’s (prior) erotic acme.