§ 151
Her testing her male, therefore, whether it is in pre-marital egoistic-social relations or after marriage erotically, is a resort to the negativism (which is indeed a characteristic of infantility). This negativism is seen in the critical attitude which is so intense in some of the later incidents in married life. And in the first love episode any coolness on the bride’s part is a tacit resistance which seems to say: “I am not yet fully mastered. Any opposition I present to you is no more than what as a man you should be able to overcome. You may be my superior in physical strength but there are numerous kinds of strength. I did not obviously marry you for your physical strength much as I appreciate, value and need it. But the love episode,” she continues unconsciously, in blushes, averted gaze, occasional paleness, interspersed with impulsive advances, all of which are here set down in their equivalent words, “the love episode consists in far more than physical violence. In fact for many centuries physical violence has formed no essential part of it. It has on the other hand a tendency to fluctuating, wavering, more or less trembling behaviour, that to the uninitiated appears contradictory or inanely silly. If you are upset or disconcerted audibly or visibly by any of the obstructions I am placing in your way, you are really not strong enough for me. By my instinctive need for being controlled, I am impelled to see how much strain you can bear, how strong your mental and spiritual nature is, for I need that control more than anything else in the world. I hope you will not fail me at this juncture, for I want above all things to find a firm base to which to attach the wavering, vacillating, fluctuating algæ of my emotions.”
All this she says in her actions, while her words may be: “Oh, Rob, you certainly are awkward. You don’t understand me a bit.”
How tragic if Rob should take her words as gospel truth and substantiate them by showing any irritation whatever!