BOOK I
PHŒBE BARRASFORD
Krindlesyke is a remote shepherd’s cottage on the Northumbrian fells, at least three miles from any other habitation. It consists of two rooms, a but and a ben. Ezra Barrasford, an old herd, blind and decrepit, sits in an armchair in the but, or living-room, near the open door, on a mild afternoon in April. Eliza Barrasford, his wife, is busy, making griddle-cakes over the peat fire.
Eliza (glancing at the wag-at-the-wa’):
It’s hard on three o’clock, and they’ll be home
Before so very long now.
Ezra:
Eh, what’s that?
Eliza:
You’re growing duller every day. I said
They’d soon be home now.
Ezra:
They? And who be they?
Eliza:
My faith, you’ve got a memory like a milk-sile!
You’ve not forgotten Jim’s away to wed?
You’re not that dull.
Ezra:
We cannot all be needles:
And some folk’s tongues are sharper than their wits.
Yet, till thon spirt of hot tar blinded me,
No chap was cuter in all the countryside,
Or better at a bargain; and it took
A nimble tongue to bandy words with mine.
You’d got to be up betimes to get round Ezra:
And none was a shrewder judge of ewes, or women.
My wits just failed me once, the day I married:
But, you’re an early riser, and your tongue
Is always up before you, and with an edge,
Unblunted by the dewfall, and as busy
As a scythe in the grass at Lammas. So Jim’s away
To wed, is he, the limb? I thought he’d gone
For swedes; though now, I mind some babblement
About a wedding: but, nowadays, words tumble
Through my old head like turnips through a slicer;
And naught I ken who the bowdykite’s to wed—
Some bletherskite he’s picked up in a ditch,
Some fond fligary flirtigig, clarty-fine,
Who’ll turn a slattern-shrew and a cap-river
Within a week, if I ken aught of Jim.
Unless ... Nay, sure, ’twas Judith Ellershaw.
Eliza:
No, no; you’re dull, indeed. It’s Phœbe Martin.
Ezra:
Who’s Phœbe Martin? I ken naught of her.
Eliza:
And I, but little.
Ezra:
Some trapsing tatterwallops,
I’ll warrant. Well, these days, the lads are like
The young cockgrouse, who doesn’t consult his dad
Before he mates. In my—yet, come to think,
I didn’t say overmuch. My dad and mammy
Scarce kenned her name when I sprung my bride on them;
Just loosed on them a gisseypig out of a poke
They’d heard no squeak of. They’d to thole my choice,
Lump it or like it. I’d the upper hand then:
And well they kenned their master. No tawse to chide,
Nor apron-strings to hold young Ezra then:
His turn had come; and he was cock of the midden,
And no braw cockerel’s hustled him from it yet,
For all their crowing. The blind old bird’s still game.
They’ve never had his spirit, the young cheepers,
Not one; and Jim’s the lave of the clutch; and he
Will never lord it at Krindlesyke till I’m straked.
But this what’s-her-name the gaby’s bringing ...
Eliza:
Phœbe.
Ezra:
A posical name; I never heard the like.
She’ll be a flighty faggit, mark my words.
Eliza:
She’s only been here once before; and now
She’ll be here all the time. I’ll find it strange
With another woman in the house. Needs must
Get used to it. Your mother found it strange,
Likely ... It’s my turn now, and long in coming.
Perhaps, that makes it harder. I’ve got set
Like a vane, when the wind’s blown east so long, it’s clogged
With dust, and cannot whisk with the chopping breeze.
’Twill need a wrench to shift my bent; for change
Comes sore and difficult at my time of life.
Ezra:
Ay, you may find your nose put out of joint,
If she’s a spirited wench.
Eliza:
Due east it’s blown
Since your mother died. She barely outlived my coming;
And never saw a grandchild. I wonder ... Yet,
I spared her all I could. Ay, that was it:
She couldn’t abide to watch me trying to spare her,
Another woman doing her work, finoodling
At jobs she’d do so smartly, tidying her hearth,
Using her oven, washing her cups and saucers,
Scouring her tables, redding up her rooms,
Handling her treasures, and wearing out her gear.
And now, another, wringing out my dishclout,
And going about my jobs in her own fashion;
Turning my household, likely, howthery-towthery,
While I sit mum. But it takes forty years’
Steady east wind to teach some folk; and then
They’re overdried to profit by their learning.
And so, without a complaint, and keeping her secrets,
Your mother died with patient, quizzical eyes,
Half-pitying, fixed on mine; and dying, left
Krindlesyke and its gear to its new mistress.
Ezra:
A woman, she was. You’ve never had her hand
At farls and bannocks; and her singing-hinnies
Fair melted in the mouth—not sad and soggy
As yours are like to be. She’d no habnab
And hitty-missy ways; and she’d turn to,
At shearing-time, and clip with any man.
She never spared herself.
Eliza:
And died at forty,
As white and worn as an old table-cloth,
Darned, washed, and ironed to a shred of cobweb,
Past mending; while your father was sixty-nine
Before he could finish himself, soak as he might.
Ezra:
Don’t you abuse my father. A man, he was—
No fonder of his glass than a man should be.
Few like him now: I’ve not his guts, and Jim’s
Just a lamb’s head, gets half-cocked on a thimble,
And mortal, swilling an eggcupful; a gill
Would send him randy, reeling to the gallows.
Dad was the boy! Got through three bottles a day,
And never turned a hair, when his own master,
Before we’d to quit Rawridge, because the dandy
Had put himself outside of all his money—
Teeming it down his throat in liquid gold,
Swallowing stock and plenishing, gear and graith.
A bull-trout’s gape and a salamander thrapple—
A man, and no mistake!
Eliza:
A man; and so,
She died; and since your mother was carried out,
Hardly a woman’s crossed the threshold, and none
Has slept the night at Krindlesyke. Forty-year,
With none but men! They’ve kept me at it; and now
Jim’s bride’s to take the work from my hands, and do
Things over that I’ve done over for forty-year,
Since I took them from your mother—things some woman’s
Been doing at Krindlesyke since the first bride
Came home.
Ezra:
Three hundred years since the first herd
Cut peats for that hearth’s kindling. Set alow,
Once and for all, it’s seen a wheen lives burn
Black-out: and when we, too, lie in the house
That never knew housewarming, ’twill be glowing.
Ay! and some woman’s tongue’s been going it,
Like a wag-at-the-wa’, in this steading, three hundred years,
Tick-tocking the same things over.
Eliza:
Dare say, we’ll manage:
A decent lass—though something in her eye,
I couldn’t quite make out. Hardly Jim’s sort ...
But, who can ever tell why women marry?
And Jim ...
Ezra:
Takes after me: and wenches buzz
Round a handsome lad, as wasps about a bunghole.
Eliza:
Though now they only see skin-deep, those eyes
Will search the marrow. Jim will have his hands full,
Unless she’s used to menfolk and their ways,
And past the minding. She’d the quietness
That’s a kind of pride, and yet, not haughty—held
Her head like a young blood-mare, that’s mettlesome
Without a touch of vice. She’ll gan her gait
Through this world, and the next. The bit in her teeth,
There’ll be no holding her, though Jim may tug
The snaffle, till he’s tewed. I’ve kenned that look
In women’s eyes, and mares’, though, with a difference.
And Jim—yet she seemed fond enough of Jim:
His daffing’s likely fresh to her, though his jokes
Are last week’s butter. Last week’s! For forty-year
I’ve tholed them, all twice-borrowed, from dad and granddad,
And rank, when I came to Krindlesyke, to find
Life, the same jobs and same jests over and over.
Ezra:
A notion, that, to hatch, full-fledged and crowing!
You must have brooded, old clocker.
Eliza:
True enough,
Marriage means little more than a new gown
To some: but Phœbe’s not a fancicle tauntril,
With fingers itching to hansel new-fangled flerds.
Why she’d wed ...
Ezra:
Tuts! Girls take their chance. And you’d
Conceit enough of Jim, at one time—proud
As a pipit that’s hatched a cuckoo: and if the gowk
Were half as handsome as I—you ken, yourself,
You needed no coaxing: I wasted little breath
Whistling to heel: you came at the first “Isca!”
Eliza:
Who kens what a lass runs away from, crazed to quit
Home, at all hazards, little realizing
It’s life, itself, she’s trying to escape;
And plodging deeper.
Ezra:
Trust a wench for kenning.
I’ve to meet the wife who’d be a maid again:
Once in the fire, no wife, though she may crackle
On the live coals, leaps back to the frying-pan.
It’s against nature.
Eliza:
Maybe: and yet, somehow,
Phœbe seemed different.
Ezra:
I’ve found little difference
Betwixt one gimmer and another gimmer,
When the ram’s among them. But, where does she hail from?
Eliza:
Allendale way. Jim met her at Martinmas fair.
Ezra:
We met ...
Eliza:
Ay, fairs have much to answer for.
Ezra:
I thought ’twas Judith Ellershaw.
Eliza:
God forbid
’Twas Judith I’d to share with: though Jim fancied
The lass, at one time. He’s had many fancies:
Light come, light go, it’s always been with Jim.
Ezra:
And I was gay when I was young—as brisk
As a yearling tup with the ewes, till I’d the pains,
Like red-hot iron, clamping back and thighs.
My heart’s a younker’s still; but even love
Gives in, at last, to rheumatics and lumbago.
Now, I’m no better than an old bell-wether,
A broken-winded, hirpling tattyjack
That can do nothing but baa and baa and baa.
I’d just to whistle for a wench at Jim’s age:
And Jim’s ...
Eliza:
His father’s son.
Ezra:
He’s never had
My spirit. No woman’s ever bested me.
For all his bluster, he’s a gaumless nowt,
With neither guts nor gall. He just butts blindly—
A woolly-witted ram, bashing his horns,
And spattering its silly brains out on a rock:
No backbone—any trollop could twiddle him
Round her little finger: just the sort a doxy,
Or a drop too much, sets dancing, heels in air:
He’s got the gallows’ brand. But none of your sons
Has a head for whisky or wenches; and not one
Has half my spunk, my relish. I’d not trust
Their judgment of a ewe, let alone a woman:
But I could size a wench up, at a glance;
And Judith ...
Eliza:
Ay: but Krindlesyke would be
A muckheap-lie-on, with that cloffy slut
For mistress. But she flitted one fine night.
Ezra:
Rarely the shots of the flock turn lowpy-dyke;
Likelier the tops have the spunk to run ramrace;
And I think no worse ...
Eliza:
Her father turned her out,
’Twas whispered; and he’s never named her, since:
And no one’s heard a word. I couldn’t thole
The lass. She’d big cow-eyes: there’s little good
In that sort. Jim’s well shot of her; he’ll not
Hear tell of her: that sort can always find
Another man to fool: they don’t come back:
Past’s past, with them.
Ezra:
I liked ...
Eliza:
Ay, you’re Jim’s dad.
But now he’s settling down, happen I’ll see
Bairn’s bairns at Krindlesyke, before I die.
Six sons—and only the youngest of the bunch
Left in the old home to do his parents credit.
Ezra:
Queer, all went wild, your sons, like collies bitten
With a taste for mutton bleeding-hot. Cold lead
Cures dogs of that kidney, peppering them one fine night
From a chink in a stell; but, when they’re two-legged curs,
They’ve a longer run; and, in the end, the gallows
Don’t noose them, kicking and squealing like snarled rabbits,
Dead-certain, as ’twould do in the good old days.
Eliza:
You crack your gallows-jokes on your own sons—
And each the spit of the father that drove them wild,
With cockering them and cursing them; one moment,
Fooling them to their bent, the moment after,
Flogging them senseless, till their little bodies
Were one blue bruise.
Ezra:
I never larruped enough,
But let the varmints off too easily:
That was the mischief. They should have had my dad—
An arm like a bullock-walloper, and a fist
Could fell a stot; and faiks, but he welted me
Skirlnaked, yarked my hurdies till I yollered,
In season and out, and made me the man I am.
Ay, he’d have garred the young eels squirm.
Eliza:
And yet,
My sons, as well: though I lost my hold of each
Almost before he was off my lap, with you
To egg them on against me. Peter went first:
And Jim’s the lave. But he may settle down.
God kens where you’d be, if you’d not wed young.
Ezra:
And the devil where you’d be, if we hadn’t met
That hiring-day at Hexham, on the minute.
I’d spent last hiring with another wench,
A giggling red-haired besom; and we were trysted
To meet at the Shambles: and I was awaiting her,
When I caught the glisk of your eye: but she was late;
And you were a sonsy lassie, fresh and pink;
Though little pink about you now, I’d fancy.
Eliza:
Nay, forty-year of Krindlesyke, and all!
Ezra:
Young carroty-pow must have been in a fine fantigue,
When she found I’d mizzled. Yet, if she’d turned up
In time, poor mealy-face, for all your roses,
You’d never have clapped eyes on Krindlesyke:
This countryside and you would still be strangers.
Eliza:
In time!
Ezra:
A narrow squeak.
Eliza:
If she’d turned up,
The red-haired girl had lived at Krindlesyke,
Instead of me, this forty-year: and I—
I might ... But we must dree our weird. And yet,
To think what my life might have been, if only—
The difference!
Ezra:
Ay, and hers, “if ifs and ans!”
But I’m none certain she’d have seen it, either.
I could have had her without wedding her,
And no mistake, the nickering, red-haired baggage.
Though she was merry, she’d big rabbit-teeth,
Might prove gey ill to live with; ay, and a swarm
Of little sandy moppies like their doe,
Buck-teeth and freckled noses and saucer-eyes,
Gaping and squealing round the table at dinner,
And calling me their dad, as likely as not:
Though little her mug would matter, now I’m blind;
And by this there’ll scarce be a stump in her yellow gums,
And not a red hair to her nodding poll—
That shock of flame a shrivelled, grizzled wisp
Like bracken after a heathfire; that creamy skin,
Like a plucked hen’s. But she’d a merry eye,
The giglet; and that coppertop of hers
Was good to think on of a nippy morning:
While you—but you were young then ...
Eliza:
Young and daft.
Ezra:
Nay, not so gite; for I was handsome then.
Eliza:
Ay, the braw birkie of that gairishon
Of menseless slubberdegullions: and I trusted
My eyes, and other people’s tongues, in those days:
And you’d a tongue to glaver a guff of a girl,
The devil’s own; and whatever’s gone from you,
You’ve still a tongue, though with a difference:
Now it’s all edge.
Ezra:
The knife that spreads the butter
Will slice the loaf. But it’s sharper than my teeth.
Eliza:
Ay, tongues cut deeper than any fang can bite,
Sore-rankling wounds.
Ezra:
You talk of tongues! I’m deaf:
But, for my sins, I cannot be deaf to yours,
Nattering me into my grave; and, likely, your words
Will flaffer about my lugs like channering peesweeps,
When I lie cold.
Eliza:
Yes, I was young, and agape
For your wheedling flum, till it fleeched my self from me.
There’s something in a young girl seems to work
Against her better sense, and gives her up,
Almost in spite of her.
Ezra:
It’s nature.
Eliza:
Then
Nature has more than enough to answer for.
Young, ay! And you, as gallant as the stallion,
With ribboned tail and mane, that pranced to the crack
Of my father’s whip, when first I saw you gaping,
Kenspeckle in that clamjamfrey of copers.
Ezra:
Love at first sight!
Eliza:
And I was just as foolish
As you were braw.
Ezra:
Well, we’d our time of it,
Fools, or no fools. And you could laugh in those days,
And didn’t snigger like the ginger fizgig.
Your voice was a bird’s: but you laugh little now;
And—well, maybe, your voice is still a bird’s.
There’s birds and birds. Then, ’twas a cushy-doo’s
That’s brooding on her nest, while the red giglet’s
Was a gowk’s at the end of June. Do you call to mind
We sat the livelong day in a golden carriage,
Squandering a fortune, forby the tanner I dropt?
They wouldn’t stop to let me pick it up;
And when we alighted from the roundabout,
Some skunk had pouched it: may he pocket it
Red-hot in hell through all eternity!
If I’d that fortune now safe in my kist!
But I was a scatterpenny: and you were bonnie—
Pink as a dog-rose were your plump cheeks then:
Your hair’d the gloss and colour of clean straw:
And when, at darkening, the naphtha flares were kindled,
And all the red and blue and gold aglitter—
Drums banging, trumpets braying, rattles craking;
And we were rushing round and round, the music—
The music and the dazzle ...
Eliza:
Ay: that was it—
The rushing and the music and the dazzle.
Happen ’twas on a roundabout that Jim
Won Phœbe Martin.
Ezra:
And when you were dizzy,
And all a hazegaze with the hubblyshew;
You cuddled up against me, snug and warm:
And round and round we went—the music braying
And beating in my blood: the gold aglitter ...
Eliza:
And there’s been little dazzle since, or music.
Ezra:
But I was merry, till I fetched you home,
To swarm the house with whinging wammerels.
Eliza:
You fetched me from my home. If I’d but known
Before I crossed the threshold. I took my arles,
And had to do my darg. And another bride
Comes now. They’ll soon be here: the train was due
At half-past one: they’d walk it in two hours,
Though bride and groom.
Ezra:
I wish he’d married Judith.
Cow-eyed, you called the wench; but cows have horns,
And, whiles, they use them when you least expect.
’Twould be no flighty heifer you’d to face,
If she turned mankeen. But, I liked the runt.
Jim might do worse.
Eliza:
You liked ... But come, I’ll set
Your chair outside, where you can feel the sun;
And hearken to the curlew; and be the first
To welcome Jim and Phœbe as man and wife.
Come!
Ezra:
Are the curlew calling?
Eliza:
Calling? Ay!
And they’ve been at it all the blessed day,
As on the day I came to Krindlesyke.
Likely the new bride—though ’twasn’t at the time
I noticed them: too heedless and new-fangled.
She may be different: she may hear them now:
They’re noisy enough.
Ezra:
I cannot catch a note:
I’m getting old, and deaved as well as darkened.
When I was young, I liked to hear the whaups
Calling to one another down the slacks:
And I could whistle, too, like any curlew.
’Twas an ancient bird wouldn’t answer my call: and now
I’m ancient myself—an old, blind, doddering heron,
Dozing his day out in a syke, while minnows
Play tiggy round his shanks and nibble his toes;
And the hawk hangs overhead. But then the blood
Was hot, and I’d a relish—such a relish!
Keen as a kestrel ... and now ...
Eliza:
It’s Jim and Phœbe—
The music and the dazzle in their heads:
And they’ll be here ...
Ezra:
I wish he’d married Judith:
She’s none the worse for being a ruddled ewe.
Eliza:
Nay, God forbid! At least, I’m spared that bildert.
(Ezra rises; and Eliza carries out his chair, and he hobbles after her. She soon returns, and puts griddle-cakes into the oven to keep hot. Presently a step is heard on the threshold, and Judith Ellershaw stands in the doorway, a baby in her arms. Eliza does not notice her for a few moments; then, glancing up, recognizes her with a start.)
Eliza:
You, Judith Ellershaw! I thought ’twas Jim.
Judith:
You thought ’twas Jim?
Eliza:
Jim and ... To think it’s you!
Where’ve you sprung from? It’s long since you’ve shown face
In these parts; and we’d seen the last of you,
I reckoned, little dreaming—and, least of all,
To-day!
Judith:
And should I be more welcome, then,
On any other?
Eliza:
Welcome? I hardly know.
Decent folk don’t keep open house for your sort
At any time. Your foot’s not dirtied that doorstone
A dozen times in your life: and then, to come,
To-day, of all days, just when Jim ...
(Breaks off abruptly.)
Judith:
When Jim?
Eliza:
But, don’t stand there. You’re looking pale and peaked.
It’s heavy, traiking the fell-tracks with a baby:
Come in, and rest a moment, if you’re tired.
You cannot bide here long: I’m sorry, lass;
But I’m expecting company; and you
Yourself, I take it, won’t be over-eager
For company.
Judith:
I’m tired enough, God kens—
Bone-weary: but we’ll not stay long, to shame you:
And you can send us packing in good time,
Before your company comes.
(She enters, and seats herself on a chair near the door. Eliza busies herself, laying the table for tea, and there is silence for a while.)
Judith:
And so, Jim’s gone
To fetch the company?
Eliza:
Ay, Jim has gone ...
(She breaks off again abruptly, and says no more for a while. Presently she goes to the oven, takes out a griddle-cake, splits and butters it, and hands it to Judith.)
Eliza:
Likely, you’re hungry, and could do with a bite?
Judith (taking it):
I’m famished. Cake! We’re grand, to-day, indeed!
And scones and bannocks—carties, quite a spread!
It’s almost like a wedding.
Eliza:
A wedding, woman?
Can’t folk have scones and bannocks and singing-hinnies,
But you must prate of weddings—you, and all!
Judith:
I meant no harm. I thought, perhaps, Jim might ...
Though, doubtless, he was married long ago?
(Eliza does not answer. Judith’s baby begins to whimper, and she tries to hush it in an absent manner.)
Judith:
Whisht, whisht! my little lass! You mustn’t cry,
And shame the ears of decent folk. Whisht, whisht!
Eliza:
Why, that’s no way to hush the teelytoon.
Come, give the bairn to me. Come, woman, come!
(Taking the child from Judith.)
I’ll show you how to handle babies. There!
Judith:
And you would nurse my brat?
Eliza:
A bairn’s a bairn—
Ay, even though its mother ...
(Breaks off abruptly, and stands, gazing before her, clasping the baby to her bosom.)
Judith:
Why don’t you finish?
“Ay, even though its mother ...” you were saying.
Eliza:
It’s ill work, calling names.
Judith:
You needn’t fear
To make me blush by calling me any name
That hasn’t stung me to the quick already.
My pious father had a holy tongue;
And he had searched the Scriptures to some purpose.
Eliza (gazing before her in an abstracted manner):
Ay: likely enough.... Poor bairn, poor little bairn—
It’s strange, but, as you snuggled to my breast,
I could have fancied, a moment, ’twas Jim I held
In my arms again. I’m growing old and foolish,
To have such fancies.
Judith:
Fancied ’twas Jim, your son—
My bastard brat?
Eliza:
Shame on you, woman, to call
Your own bairn such, poor innocent. It’s not
To blame for being a chance-bairn. Yet ... O Jim!
Judith:
Why do you call on Jim? He’s not come home yet?
But I must go, before your son brings back ...
Give me the bairn ...
Eliza (withholding the baby):
Nay, daughter, not till I learn
The father’s name.
Judith:
What right have you ...
Eliza:
God kens ...
And yet ...
Judith:
Give me the bairn. You’ll never learn
The father’s name from me.
Eliza:
Go, daughter, go.
What ill-chance made you come to-day, of all days?
Judith:
Why not to-day? Come, woman, I’d ken that,
Before I go. I’ve half a mind to stay.
Eliza:
Nay, lass, you said ...
Judith:
I’ve said a lot, in my time.
I’ve changed my mind. ’Twas Jim I came to see—
Though why, God kens! I liked the singing-hinny:
Happen, there’ll be some more for me, if I stay.
I find I cannot thrive on nettle-broth:
And it’s not every day ...
Eliza:
Judith, you ken.
Judith:
Ken? I ken nothing, but what you tell me.
Eliza:
Daughter,
I’ll tell you all. You’ll never have the heart ...
Judith:
The heart!
Eliza:
To stay and shame us, when you ken all.
Judith:
All?
Eliza:
When you talked of weddings, you’d hit the truth:
And Jim brings home his bride to-day. Even now ...
Judith:
And Jim brings home ...
Eliza:
I looked for them by this:
But you’ve still time ...
Judith:
The bride comes home to-day.
Brides should come home: it’s right a man should bring
His bride home—ay! And we must go, my wean,
To spare her blushes. We’re no company
For bride and bridegroom. Happen, we should meet them,
You must not cry to him: I must not lift
My eyes to his. We’re nothing now to him.
Your cry might tell her heart too much: my eyes
Might meet her eyes, and tell ... It isn’t good
For a bride to know too much. So, we must hide
In the ditch, as they pass by, if we should chance
To meet them on the road—their road and ours—
The same road, though we’re travelling different ways.
The bride comes home. Brides come home every day.
And you and I ...
Eliza:
There’s nothing else for it.
Judith:
There’s nothing else?
Eliza:
Nay, lass! How could you bide?
They’ll soon ... But, you’ll not meet them, if you go ...
Judith:
Go, where?
Eliza:
And how should I ken where you’re bound for?
I thought you might be making home.
Judith:
Home—home!
I might be making home? And where’s my home—
Ay, and my bairn’s home, if it be not here?
Eliza:
Here? You’d not stay?
Judith:
Why not? Have I no right?
Eliza:
If you’ll not go for my sake, go for Jim’s.
If you were fond ...
Judith:
And, think you, I’d be here,
If I had not been fond of Jim? And yet,
Why should I spare him? He’s not spared me much,
Who gave him all a woman has to give.
Eliza:
But, think of her, the bride, and her home-coming.
Judith:
I’ll go.
Eliza:
You lose but little: too well I ken
How little—I, who’ve dwelt this forty-year
At Krindlesyke.
Judith:
Happen you never loved.
Eliza:
I, too, was young, once, daughter.
Judith:
Ay: and yet,
You’ve never tramped the road I’ve had to travel.
God send it stretch not forty-year!
Eliza:
I’ve come
That forty-year. We’re out on the selfsame road,
The three of us: but, she’s the stoniest bit
To travel still—the bride just setting out,
And stepping daintily down the lilylea.
We’ve known the worst.
Judith:
But, she can keep the highway,
While I must slink in the ditch, among the nettles.
Eliza:
I’ve kept the hard road, daughter, forty-year:
The ditch may be easier going, after all:
Nettles don’t sting each other.
Judith:
Nay: but I’m not
A ditch-born nettle, but, among the nettles,
Only a woman, naked to every sting:
And there are slugs and slithery toads and paddocks
In the ditch-bottom; and their slimy touch
Is worse to bear than any nettle ...
Eliza:
Ay—
The pity of it! A maid blooms only once:
And then, that a man should ruin ... But, you’ve your bairn:
And bairns, while we can hold them safe in our arms,
And they still need the breast, make up for much:
For there’s a kind of comfort in their clinging,
Though they only cling till they can stand alone.
But yours is not a son. If I’d only had
One daughter ...
Judith:
Well, you’ll have a daughter now.
But we must go our way to—God kens where!
Before Jim brings the bride home. You’ve your wish:
Jim brings you home a daughter ...
(As she speaks, a step is heard, and Ezra Barrasford appears in the doorway. Turning to go, Judith meets him. She tries to pass him, but he clutches her arm; and she stands, dazed, while his fingers grope over her.)
Ezra:
So Jim’s back:
And has slipped by his old dad without a word?
I caught no footfall, though once I’d hear an adder
Slink through the bent. I’m deafer than an adder—
Deaf as the stone-wall Johnny Looney built
Around the frog that worried him with croaking.
I couldn’t hear the curlew—not a note.
But I forget my manners. Jim, you dog,
To go and wed, and never tell your dad!
I thought ’twas swedes you were after: and, by gox!
It’s safer fetching turnips than a wife.
But, welcome home! Is this the bonnie bride?
You’re welcome, daughter, home to Krindlesyke.
(Feeling her face.)
But, wife, it’s Judith, after all! I kenned
That Judith was the lucky lass. You said
’Twas somebody else: I cannot mind the name—
Some fly-by-the-sky, outlandish name: but I
Was right, you see. Though I be blind and deaf,
I’m not so dull as some folk think. There’s others
Are getting on in years, forby old Ezra.
Though some have ears to hear the churchyard worms
Stirring beneath the mould, and think it time
That he was straked and chested, the old dobby
Is not a corpse yet: and it well may happen
He’ll not be the first at Krindlesyke to lie,
Cold as a slug, with pennies on his eyes.
Aiblains, the old ram’s cassen, but he’s no trake yet:
And, at the worst, he’ll be no braxy carcase
When he’s cold mutton. Ay, I’m losing grip;
But I’ve still got a kind of hold on life;
And a young wench in the house makes all the difference.
We’ve hardly blown the froth off, and smacked our lips,
Before we’ve reached the bottom of the pot:
Yet the last may prove the tastiest drop, who kens?
You’re welcome, daughter.
(His hand, travelling over her shoulder, touches the child.)
Ah, a brat—Jim’s bairn!
He hasn’t lost much time, has Jim, the dog!
Come, let me take it, daughter. I’ve never held
A grandchild in my arms. Six sons I’ve had,
But not one’s made me granddad, to my knowledge:
And all the hoggerels have turned lowpy-dyke,
And scrambled, follow-my-leader, over the crag’s edge,
But Jim, your husband: and not for me to say,
Before his wife, that he’s the draft of the flock.
Give me the baby: I’ll not let it fall:
I’ve always had a way with bairns, and women.
It’s not for naught I’ve tended ewes and lambs,
This sixty-year.
(He snatches the baby from Judith, before she realizes what he is doing, and hobbles away with it to the high-backed settle by the fire, out of sight. Before Judith can move to follow him, steps are heard on the threshold.)
Eliza:
Ah, God: they’re at the door!
As she speaks, Jim and Phœbe Barrasford enter, talking and laughing. Judith Ellershaw shrinks into the shadow behind the door, while they come between her and the settle on which Ezra is nursing the baby unseen. Eliza stands dazed in the middle of the room.
Jim:
And they lived happy ever afterwards,
Eh, lass? Well, mother: I’ve done the trick: all’s over;
And I’m a married man, copt fair and square,
Coupled to Phœbe: and I’ve brought her home.
You call the lass to mind, though you look moidart?
What’s dozzened you? She’ll find her wits soon, Phœbe:
They’re in a mullock, all turned howthery-towthery
At the notion of a new mistress at Krindlesyke—
She’ll come to her senses soon, and bid you welcome.
Take off your bonnet; and make yourself at home.
I trust tea’s ready, mother: I’m fairly famished.
I’ve hardly had a bite, and not a sup
To wet my whistle since forenoon: and dod!
But getting married is gey hungry work.
I’m hollow as a kex in a ditch-bottom:
And just as dry as Molly Miller’s milkpail
She bought, on the chance of borrowing a cow.
Eh, Phœbe, lass! But you’ve stopped laughing, have you?
And you look fleyed: there’s nothing here to scare you:
We’re quiet folk at Krindlesyke. Come, mother,
Have you no word of welcome for the lass,
That you gape like a foundered ewe at us? What ghost
Has given you a gliff, and set you chittering?
Come, shake yourself, before I rax your bones;
And give my bride the welcome due to her—
My bride, the lady I have made my wife.
Poor lass, she’s quaking like a dothery-dick.
Eliza (to Phœbe):
Daughter, may you ...
Ezra (crooning, unseen, to the baby):
“Dance for your mammy,
Dance for your daddy ...”
Jim:
What ails the old runt now?
You mustn’t heed him, Phœbe, lass: he’s blind
And old and watty: but there’s no harm in him.
(Goes towards settle.)
Come, dad, and jog your wits, and stir your stumps,
And welcome ... What the devil’s this? Whose brat ...
Ezra:
Whose brat? And who should ken—although they say,
It’s a wise father knows his own child. Ay!
If he’s the devil, you’re the devil’s brat,
And I’m the devil’s daddy. Happen you came
Before the parson had time to read the prayers.
But, he’s a rum dad ...
(Judith Ellershaw steps forward to take the child from Ezra.)
Jim:
Judith Ellershaw!
Why, lass, where ever have ...
(He steps towards her, then stops in confusion. Nobody speaks as Judith goes towards the settle, takes the child from Ezra, and wraps it in her shawl. She is moving to the door when Phœbe steps before her and closes it, then turns and faces Judith.)
Phœbe:
You shall not go.
Judith:
And who are you to stop me? Come, make way—
Come, woman, let me pass.
Phœbe:
I—I’m Jim’s bride.
Judith:
And what should Jim’s bride have to say to me?
Come, let me by.
Phœbe:
You shall not go.
Judith:
Come, lass.
You do not ken me for the thing I am:
If you but guessed, you’d fling the door wide open,
And draw your petticoats about you tight,
Lest any draggletail of mine should smutch them.
I never should have come ’mid decent folk:
I never should have crawled out of the ditch.
You little ken ...
Phœbe:
I heard your name. I’ve heard
That name before.
Judith:
You heard no good of it,
Whoever spoke.
Phœbe:
I heard it from the lips
That uttered it just now.
Judith:
From Jim’s? Well, Jim
Kens what I am. I wonder he lets you talk
With me. Come ...
Phœbe:
Not until I know the name
Of your baby’s father.
Judith:
You’ve no right to ask.
Phœbe:
Maybe: and yet, you shall not cross that doorsill,
Until I know.
Judith:
Come, woman, don’t be foolish.
Phœbe:
You say I’ve no right. Pray God, you speak the truth:
But there may be no woman in the world
Who has a better right.
Judith:
You’d never heed
A doting dobby’s blethering, would you, lass—
An old, blind, crazy creature ...
Phœbe:
If I’ve no right,
You’ll surely never have the heart to keep
The name from me? You’ll set my mind at ease?
Judith:
The heart! If it will set your mind at ease,
I’ll speak my shame ... I’ll speak my shame right out ...
I’ll speak my shame right out, before you all.
Jim:
But, lass!
Eliza (to Phœbe):
Nay: let her go. You’re young and hard:
And I was hard, though far from young: I’ve long
Been growing old; though little I realized
How old. And when you’re old, you don’t judge hardly:
You ken things happen, in spite of us, willy-nilly.
We think we’re safe, holding the reins; and then
In a flash the mare bolts; and the wheels fly off;
And we’re lying, stunned, beneath the broken cart.
So, let the lass go quietly; and keep
Your happiness. When you’re old, you’ll not let slip
A chance of happiness so easily:
There’s not so much of it going, to pick and choose:
The apple’s speckled; but it’s best to munch it,
And get what relish out of it you can;
And, one day, you’ll be glad to chew the core:
For all its bitterness, few chuck it from them,
While they’ve a sense left that can savour aught.
So, let the lass go. You may have the right
To question her: but folk who stand on their rights
Get little rest: they’re on a quaking moss
Without a foothold; and find themselves to the neck
In Deadman’s Flow, before they’ve floundered far.
Rights go for little, in this life: few are worth
The risk of losing peace and quiet. You’ll have
Plenty to worrit, and keep you wakeful, without
A pillow stuffed with burrs and briars: so, take
An old wife’s counsel, daughter: let well alone;
And don’t go gathering grievances. The lass ...
Jim:
Ay, don’t be hard on her. Though mother’s old,
She talks sense, whiles. So let the poor lass go.
Judith:
The father of my bairn ...
Jim:
She’s lying, Phœbe!
Judith:
The father of my bairn is—William Burn—
A stranger to these parts. Now, let me pass.
(She tries to slip by, but Phœbe still does not make way for her.)
Jim:
Ay, Phœbe, let her go. She tells the truth.
I thought ... But I mistook her. Let her go.
I never reckoned you’d be a reesty nag:
Yet, you can set your hoofs, and champ your bit
With any mare, I see. I doubt you’ll prove
A rackle ramstam wife, if you’ve your head.
She’s answered what you asked; though, why, unless ...
Well, I don’t blame the wench: she should ken best.
Phœbe:
Judith, you lie.
Judith:
I lie! You mean ...
Phœbe:
To-day,
I married your bairn’s father.
Eliza:
O God!
Jim:
Come, lass,
I say!
Judith:
No woman, no! I spoke the truth.
Haven’t I shamed myself enough already—
That you must call me liar! (To Eliza) Speak out now,
If you’re not tongue-tied: tell her all you ken—
How I’m a byword among honest women,
And yet, no liar. You’d tongue enough just now
To tell me what I was—a cruel tongue
Cracking about my ears: and have you none
To answer your son’s wife, and save the lad
From scandal?
Eliza:
I’ve not known the lass to lie ...
And she’s the true heart, Phœbe, true as death,
Whatever it may seem.
Jim:
That’s that: and so ...
(While they have been talking, Ezra has risen from the settle, unnoticed; and has hobbled to where Phœbe and Judith confront one another. He suddenly touches Phœbe’s arm.)
Ezra:
Cackling like guinea-fowl when a hawk’s in air!
I must have snoozed; yet, I caught the gabble. There’ll be
A clatter all day now, with two women’s tongues,
Clack-clack against each other, in the house—
Two pendulums in one clock. Lucky I’m deaf.
But, I remember. Give me back the bairn.
Nay: this is not the wench. I want Jim’s bride—
The mother of his daughter. Judith, lass,
Where are you? Come, I want to nurse my grandchild—
Jim’s little lass.
Eliza (stepping towards Ezra):
Come, hold your foolish tongue.
You don’t know what you’re saying. Come, sit down.
(Leads him back to the settle.)
Jim:
If he don’t stop his yammer, I’ll slit his weasen—
I’ll wring his neck for him!
Ezra:
What’s wrong? What’s wrong?
I’m an old man, now; and must do as I’m bid like a bairn—
I, who was master, and did all the bidding.
And you, Jim, I’d have broken your back like a rabbit’s,
At one time, if you’d talked to me like that.
But now I’m old and sightless; and any tit
May chivvy a blind kestrel. Ay, I’m old
And weak—so waffly in arms and shanks, that now
I couldn’t even hold down a hog to be clipped:
So, boys can threaten me, and go unskelped:
So you can bray; and I must hold my peace:
Yet, mark my words, the hemp’s ripe for the rope
That’ll throttle you one day, you gallows-bird.
But, something’s happening that a blind man’s sense
Cannot take hold of; so, I’d best be quiet—
Ay, just sit still all day, and nod and nod,
Until I nod myself into my coffin:
That’s all that’s left me.
Judith (to Phœbe):
You’d weigh an old man’s gossip
Against my word? O woman, pay no heed
To idle tongues, if you’d keep happiness.
Phœbe:
While the tongue lies, the eyes speak out the truth.
Judith:
The eyes? Then you’ll not take my word for it,
But let a dotard’s clatterjaw destroy you?
You ken my worth: yet, if you care for Jim,
You’ll trust his oath. If he denies the bairn,
Then, you’ll believe? You’d surely never doubt
Your husband’s word, and on your wedding-day?
Small wonder you’d be duberous of mine.
But Jim’s not my sort; he’s an honest lad;
And he’ll speak truly. If he denies the bairn ...
Phœbe:
I’ve not been used to doubting people’s word.
My father’s daughter couldn’t but be trustful
Of what men said; for he was truth itself.
If only he’d lived, I mightn’t ...
Judith:
If Jim denies ...
Phœbe:
If Jim can look me in the eyes, and swear ...
Judith:
Come, set her mind at ease. Don’t spare me, Jim;
But look her in the eyes, and tell her all;
For she’s your wife; and has a right to ken
The bairn’s no bairn of yours. Come, lad, speak out;
And don’t stand gaping. You ken as well as I
The bairn ... Speak! Speak! Have you no tongue at all?
(She pauses; but Jim hesitates to speak.)
Don’t think of me. You’ve naught to fear from me.
Tell all you ken of me right out: no word
Of yours can hurt me now: I’m shameless, now:
I’m in the ditch, and spattered to the neck.
Come, don’t mince matters: your tongue’s not so modest
It fears to make your cheeks burn—I ken that;
And when the question is a woman’s virtue,
It rattles like a reaper round a wheatfield,
And as little cares if it’s cutting grain or poppies.
So, it’s too late to blush and stammer now,
And let your teeth trip up your tongue. Speak out!
(Jim still hesitates.)
Your wife is waiting; if you don’t tell her true,
And quick about it, it’s your own look-out.
I wouldn’t be in your shoes, anyway.
See, how she’s badgered me; and all because ...
Come: be a man: and speak.
Jim:
The brat’s no brat
Of mine, Phœbe, I swear ...
(He stops in confusion, dropping his eyes. Phœbe turns from him, lays one hand on the latch and the other on Judith’s arm.)
Phœbe:
Come, lass, it’s time
We were getting home.
Judith:
We?
Phœbe:
Ay, unless you’d stay?
You’ve the right.
Judith:
I stay? O God, what have I done!
That I’d never crossed the threshold!
Eliza:
You’re not going
To leave him, Phœbe? You cannot: you’re his wife;
And cannot quit ... But, I’m getting old ...
Jim:
Leave me?
Leave me? She’s mad! I never heard the like—
And on my wedding-day—stark, staring mad!
But, I’m your husband; and I bid you bide.
Phœbe:
O Jim, if you had only told the truth,
I might, God knows—for I was fond of you,
And trusted ...
Jim:
Now you’re talking sense. Leave me—
And married to me in a church, and all!
But, that’s all over; and you’re not huffed now.
There’s naught in me to take a scunner at.
Yet the shying filly may prove a steady mare,
Once a man’s astriddle her who’ll stand no capers.
You’ve got to let a woman learn who’s master,
Sooner or later: so, it’s just as well
To get it over, once and for all. That’s that.
And now, let Judith go. Come, Phœbe, lass:
I thought you’d a tender heart. Don’t be too hard
On a luckless wench: but let bygones be bygones.
All’s well that ends well. And what odds, my lass,
Even if the brat were mine?
Phœbe:
Judith, you’re ready?
Jim:
Let the lass bide, and sup with us. I’ll warrant
She’ll not say nay: she’s a peckish look, as though
She’d tasted no singing-hinnies this long while back.
Mother, another cup. Draw up your chairs.
We’ve not a wedding-party every day
At Krindlesyke. I’m ravenous as a squab,
When someone’s potted dad and mammy crow.
So sit down, Phœbe, before I clear the board.
Phœbe:
Judith, it’s time we were getting home.
Judith:
Home, lass?
I’ve got no home: I’ve long been homeless: I ...
Phœbe:
That much he told me about you: he spoke the truth
So far, at least: but I have still a home,
My mother will be glad to see me back—
Ay, more than glad: she was loth to let me go;
Though, trusting Jim, as she trusted everyone,
She said but little: and she’ll welcome you,
If only for your baby’s sake. She’s just
A child, with children. Unless you are too proud ...
Nay! But I see you’ll come. We’ll live and work,
And tend the bairn, as sisters, we who care.
Come, Judith.
(She throws the door wide and goes out, without looking back. Jim steps forward to stay her, but halts, bewildered, on the threshold, and stands gazing after her.)
Jim:
I’m damned! Nay, lass, I bid you bide:
I’d see you straked, before I’d let you go ...
Do you hear, I bid ... The blasted wench, she’s gone—
Gone! I’ve a mind ... If I don’t hang for her ...
Just let me get my fingers ... But, I’m betwattled
Like a stoorded tup! And this is my wedding-day!
(He stands speechless; but at length turns to Judith, who is gazing after Phœbe with an unrealizing stare.)
Jim:
Well ... anyway, you’ll not desert me, Judith.
Old friends are best: and I—I always liked you.
The other lass was a lamb to woo, but wed,
A termagant: and I’m well shot of her.
I’d have wrung the pullet’s neck for her one day,
If she’d—and the devil to pay! So it’s good riddance ...
Yet, she’d a way with her, she had, the filly!
And I’d have relished breaking her in. But you
Were always easy-going, and fond of me—
Ay, fond and faithful. Look, how you stood up
To her, the tawpy tauntril, for my sake!
We’ll let bygones be bygones, won’t we, Judith?
My chickens have come home to roost, it seems.
And so, this is my baby? Who’d have dreamt ...
I little looked to harvest my wild oats.
(Judith starts, shrinking from Jim: and then, clutching her baby to her bosom, she goes quickly out of the door.)
Judith:
I’m coming, Phœbe, coming home with you!
(Jim stands on the doorstone, staring after her, dumbfounded, till she is out of sight; then he turns, and clashes the door to.)
Eliza:
Ay, but it’s time to bar the stable door.
Jim:
I’ve done with women: they’re a faithless lot.
Ezra:
I can’t make head or tail of all the wrangling—
Such a gillaber and gilravishing,
As I never heard in all my born days, never.
Weddings were merrymakings in my time:
The reckoning seldom came till the morrow’s morn.
But, Jim, my boy, though you’re a baa-waa body,
And gan about like a goose with a nicked head,
You’ve, aiblains, found out now that petticoats
Are kittle-cattle, the whole rabblement.
The reesty nags will neither heck nor gee:
And they’re all clingclang like the Yetholm tinkers.
Ay: though you’re just a splurging jackalally,
You’ve spoken truth for once, Jim: womenfolk,
Wenches and wives, are all just weathercocks.
I’ve ever found them faithless, first and last.
But, where’s your daughter, Jim? I want to hold
The bairn.
Jim:
They’ve taken even her from me.
(Eliza, who has been filling the teapot, takes Ezra by the hand, and leads him to his seat at the table.)
Eliza:
Come, husband: sup your tea, before it’s cold:
And you, too, son. Ay, we’re a faithless lot.