CHAPTER XVI.
A portion of the Manuscript now presented itself, not a little perplexing from the frequent erasures and interlineations, whilst not seldom, these were a second time crossed out with the pen, as if the writer could not exactly make up his mind, whether the incidents noted should remain at all, or in what terms they should be expressed. Thus, for example, by holding up the paper to the light, the words “College Pranks” were with some difficulty discernible. These had been erased, and for pranks, the word “Vagaries” was substituted. This word also had been rejected, and, as appeared from the ink at no great distance of time, “College Follies” was inscribed in a larger hand, as if intended for the head of a chapter.
But of these “Pranks,” “Vagaries,” and “Follies,” there were not many which seemed recorded for any other purpose than for the moralizing sentiments and reflections which seemed to have accompanied the recollection of them. The anecdote which follows, from the warmth and earnestness which the partly pleasing and partly painful remembrance, evidently excited in the writer, must long and sensibly have occupied his mind. It is communicated in substance thus.
After about a year’s residence in the university, an accident introduced him to the society of a lovely young widow, whose brother was a respectable tradesman, but had occupations which occasioned him to be much absent from home. His sister kept his house, and in her brother’s absence had many lively parties, composed principally of females of the better class in the mercantile line, and of young gownsmen. He frequented her society, till a very strong attachment was mutually formed and avowed. Marriage, as it would have been the utter ruin of both parties, was never mentioned by either, but a tender and affectionate intercourse took place, which had subsisted for many months,—[Here the manuscript has such blots and erasures, that many lines are totally illegible.]—The narrative is afterwards thus resumed:—In absence they corresponded for a long time with the most unabated attachment, when at length, (for tenderness is sharp-sighted) our hero fancied he perceived the style of his widow to be somewhat colder. Her letters were less frequent; they now contained excuses for their brevity, and after a while they were altogether remitted.
What he suspected had actually taken place, as he had ample testimony on his return, after the long vacation in October. A young man, somewhat above his standing, who was remarkable for his personal confidence, for his wit and humour, and above all, for his gallantries, had addressed himself to the Fair Inconstant, even before she had known him who now complained of her perfidy. He failed, however, in his attack at this time, and better fortune hailed our friend. The connection upon whom the new gallant was dependent, and with whom he lived, (a learned and venerable clergyman) was compelled by circumstances to reside principally in the university. He artfully availed himself of this opportunity, and of her lover’s absence, to renew the siege, and after close and continued assaults, he supplanted his rival.
After some desultory remarks on female vanity and fickleness, of no great interest or importance, the subjoined words occur in the margin in the form of a note, and evidently were written in a long interval of time after the anecdote itself.
The sequel of the story of this my successful rival is not a little whimsical, nor can a greater contrast be imagined between what he was, when he contended with me in calling
Eyes, which are the frailest softest things,
Tyrants—Butchers—Murderers—
And what he is now; between the levity, facetiousness, and improvidence of his youth, and his present severity, loftiness, and pride. That all should acknowledge and lament youthful indiscretions, should exhibit a contrary conduct, and, by example, encourage the young and the thoughtless to decency and rectitude of demeanour, is expedient and wise; but surely it is not amiable to be cited as an exemplar of rigorous austerity, of inflexible tenacity, with respect to the obsequiousness of inferiors; of a too severe exactor of penalties, inconsiderately incurred by the want of reflection and experience. Such a transition, from contemplating with delight “eyelids where many graces sate,” to minute and aristarchical animadversions on youthful freaks, might, one should suppose, have been somewhat checked by the knowledge and conviction, that there are still in circulation, composed by this now greatly exalted personage, Poetic Trifles and Levities, of which the mildest representation that can be given is, that they are prodigiously amatory. But let this pass; this man is now ⸺.
Here again is a considerable hiatus in our MS. but it is impossible not to smile at the anecdote which succeeds, of which the substance is this:—
One of the tutors of the college was far from being popular, and the principal reason seemed to be, that he was what was then denominated “a Tuft hunter;” that is, one who prefers the society of a peer to that of a commoner, a lord to a baronet, and proportions his obsequiousness in an exactly graduated scale of rank and dignity. It was understood that his Reverence was to dine with a young nobleman, more remarkable for the quantity of claret he could exhaust, than for the brilliancy or variety of his intellectual attainments. The opportunity was accordingly taken to screw up his door so very securely, as to render admission by it impossible till the morning. Let the reader judge of the sensations, wrath, and indignation of a very pompous man, returning at a late hour of the night, with perhaps as much wine as he could decently carry, in vain attempting to procure entrance to his apartment. After some persevering exertions, which were ineffectual, the porter was summoned, and with due examination, aided by numerous lights, the mischief was discovered. The conspirators, who affected to be roused from their beds by the noise which the catastrophe occasioned, assembled, with well-feigned commiseration, and with professed eagerness, to assist, and ultimately enjoyed the wicked satisfaction of seeing their plot fully accomplished, by assisting the unlucky and ill-starred tutor to get admission to his rooms, by means of a ladder placed against the window.
The above nobleman, by the way, ought not to be passed over without a little further notice. He so far forgot in subsequent life the dignity of his elevated station, as to play the part of Pandarus to one greater than himself. The beauty, however, of the lovely object in question, proved so irresistible, that he fell a victim to it himself, and betrayed the trust reposed in him. The circumstances have since been partially related by the lady herself, and the whole would involve sufficient materials for a most curious novel.
Vidi jam juvenem premeret cum serior ætas,
Mœrentem stultos præteriisse dies.