Besides, as most folk do agree To find a charm in novelty, 'Tis the first time that Grammar rule Which makes boys tremble when at school Did with the name an union crave Which at the font a sponsor gave. But whether 'twas in hum'rous mood Or by some classic whim pursued, Or as, in Eton's Grammar known, It bore relation to his own, Syntax, it was at Whitsuntide, And a short time before he died, In pleasant humour, after dinner, Surnam'd, in wine, the little sinner.
And thus, amid the table's roar, Gave him from good, old Lilly's store, A name which none e'er had before.
}
—'Squire Worthy, who, perchance was there Promis'd the Doctor's wish to share, That want, at least might not annoy The progress of the Foundling Boy. "—Syntax," He said, "We'll try between us To make the fortune of Quæ Genus: You feed his mind with learning's food, And I'll protect him if he's good." "While I," said smiling Dickey Bend, "Will add my mite as Johnny's friend; Nor shall he want the scraps of knowledge Which he can pick up at my College." —Thus, as they did the bumper ply To Johnny's future destiny, The warm, almost parental heart Of Mrs. Syntax bore its part; And her cheek wore a smile of joy As she beheld th' unconscious boy, Who, careless of the kind debate, Play'd with the cherries on his plate.
But such is life's uncertain hour,
And such is fate's tyrannic power,
That while our comforts smile around
The fatal dart inflicts the wound:
Thus e'er another month was past
Syntax, alas! had breath'd his last.
Whene'er he heard the widow sigh
Quæ Genus wept he scarce knew why:
Of a kind friend fate had bereft him,
And an odd name was all he left him.
His urchin fancy only thought
As his enquiring mind was taught,
That his adopted sire was gone
Where the good go to worlds unknown,
To happy regions plac'd on high
Above the blue and starry sky,
Where, he was with the hope endued,
That he should go, if he were good.
But the good lady took him home And kept him many a year to come; When he grew up a charming youth, In whom simplicity and truth Did o'er his ev'ry thought preside; While, with such an anxious guide, Life smil'd and seem'd to promise fair, That it would answer to the care Which her affection had bestow'd, To set him on his future road: But when she died poor John was hurl'd Into a bustling, tricking world. He had, 'tis true, all she could leave; She gave him all there was to give; Of all she had she made him heir, But left it to a lawyer's care: No wonder then that he was cheated And her fond anxious hopes defeated: So that instead of his possessing The fruits of her last, dying blessing;
He had, as it turn'd out, to rue What foul rascality could do; And his own wild vagaries too.
}
Here, gentle reader, here begins
The account of our young Hero's sins:
But all which thus far form'd his fate,
Quæ Genus will himself relate,
And what truth bids him to rehearse,
My hum-strum Muse records in verse.
Thus I proceed,—my humble strain Has hap'ly pleas'd.——I may be vain,— But still it hopes to please again.
}
In this great overwhelming town, Certain receptacles are known, Where both the sexes shew their faces To boast their talents and get places: Not such as kings and courts can give, Not such as noble folk receive, But those which yield their useful aid To common wants or gen'ral trade, Or finely furbish out the show That fashion does on life bestow. Here those who want them may apply For toiling powers and industry, On whom the nervous strength's bestow'd To urge the wheel or bear the load. Here all who want, may pick and chuse Each service of domestic use: The laundry, kitchen, chamber, dairy, May always find an Ann or Mary, While in th' accommodating room, He who wants coachman, footman, groom, Or butler staid, may come and have, With such as know to dress and shave. —The art and skill may here be sought In ev'ry thing that's sold and bought, In all the well spread counter tells Of knowledge keen in yards and ells; Adepts in selling and in buying And perfect in the modes of lying; Who flatter misses in their teens, And harangue over bombazeens, Can, in glib words, nor fear detection, Arrange each colour to complexion: Can teach the beau the neckcloth's tie, With most becoming gravity; Or with a consequential air, Turn up the collar to a hair. —Besides, your nice shop-women too, May at a call be brought to view, Who, with swift fingers, so bewitching, Are skill'd in ev'ry kind of stitching; Can trim the hat, arrange the bonnet, And place the tasty ribbon on it. In short, here all to service bound, May in their various shapes be found. —From such who may display their charms, By smirking looks and active arms, To those in kitchen under ground Amid black pots and kettles found: From such as teach the early rules, Or in the male or female schools, To those of an inferior breed, Who ne'er have known to write or read: From those who do the laws perplex In toil at an attorney's desk, To such as pass their busy lives In cleaning shoes or cleaning knives.
To these, perhaps, an added score Might swell the tiresome list or more, But here description says, "give o'er."
}
In such enregistering shop One morn a figure chanc'd to pop; (But here I beg it may be guess'd, Of these same shops it was the best,
His hat was rather worse for wear, His clothing, too, was somewhat bare, His boots might say, "we've travell'd far."
}
His left hand an umbrella bore And something like a glove he wore: Clean was his very sun-burnt skin Without a long hair on his chin, While his lank face, in ev'ry feature, Proclaim'd a keen, discerning nature;
And when he spoke there was an air Of something not quite common there: His manner good, his language fair.
}
A double cape of curious make, Fell from his shoulders down his back, As if art did the folds provide A very awkward hump to hide; But, if 'twere so, the cunning fail'd, For still the treach'rous bunch prevail'd.
By chatting here and talking there, He did his curious mind prepare With all the means by which to gain The end his wishes would obtain;— Then with half-humble, solemn face, He sought the ruler of the place, Who boasted an establish'd fame, And Sharpsight was his well-known name. But ere we in our way proceed To tell of many a future deed, It may, we doubt not, be as well, To save all guess-work, just to tell, Of the part now upon the stage Quæ Genus was the personage. Fortune's dark clouds, for some time past That learned title had o'ercast, And he had borrow'd names in plenty, He might have gone by more than twenty;
But now arriv'd in this great town Without a fear of being known He thought he might assume his own:
}
And he had weighty reasons too For what he was about to do, Which, we believe, a future page Will reconcile as reasons sage. At length his statement he began, When thus the conversation ran.
