Sharpsight.
"Here money is not that way earn'd,
My reputation is concern'd;
But still I can my duty do,
And strive to be a friend to you.
Sir Jeff'ry Gourmand you may suit;
A Knight renown'd, of high repute,
As all who know his name can tell,
For being rich and living well;
A gen'rous man, but full of whim,
And you may be the thing for him:
In such a way your case I'll mention
As shall awaken his attention.
And now, my worthy friend, I pray,
Mind well what I'm about to say:
Without a creature to refer
Or for good name or character,
And in a state which seems to be
Involv'd in awkward mystery;
And I shall add, with your excuse
For the remark which I must use,
That either accident or nature
Has, on your back, plac'd such a feature,
That were you e'en my dearest friend,
I dare not such an one commend
To any lady worth a groat,
Unless to serve the dame for nought.
—Just turn around, and you may see
A Lady in deep scrutiny,
With a nice quizzing-glass in hand,
Glancing across a liv'ried band;
And once a month she does appear
On this domestic errand here.
If of a maid she wants the use,
Her woman comes to pick and chuse;
But if a man,—she is so nice,
She comes herself to make the choice.
A widow rich, who gives high wages,
If they should please, whom she engages:
But he must be of such a size,
And look so well in her keen eyes,
That she scarce one in twenty sees
Fit to wear her rich liveries.
There's one who has a squinting eye—
I know full well she'll pass him by;
On one poor rogue she'll turn her back
Because his frightful beard is black;
Another will not eat her bread
Because his frizzled crop is red;
These are too weak,—and those too strong,
And some an inch too short or long:
She'll take the best-made of the bunch,
But would be fainting at a hunch.
—Thus then, according to my plan,
Sir Jeff'ry Gourmand is the man;
But to his questions pray reply
Without the veil of mystery:
Your story from your very youth,
If he should ask it—tell the truth;
Your errors fail not to unfold—
In telling them be firm, be bold;
While you your better virtues own,
E'en let your mischiefs all be known,
But let not folly blazen forth
Whate'er you have of conscious worth;
Express the ill with down-cast eye,
And veil the good with modesty;
Though, if you can with prudence poke
Into your tale a funny joke,
Fear not, 'tis what his humour loves,
As his own daily chit-chat proves;
And while he does his bev'rage quaff,
At what he says—be sure you laugh.
But should you not his service suit,
He will not play the churlish brute;
And if not gone too far astray,
May serve you in some other way.
Thus you must see I do my best—
To Fortune I shall leave the rest:
But now I see Sir Jeff'ry enter,
And I must leave you to your venture."
Sharpsight then after humbly greeting
This huge man-mountain of good eating,
For a few minutes in his ear,
Told that which he alone could hear.
The Knight then cast a curious eye
On Johnny, who was standing by,
And just enquir'd from whence he came,
What was his age, and what his name;
Whom he had serv'd, and why he left
The place of which he was bereft?
relating his history to sir jeffrey gourmand.
Drawn by Rowlandson
Quæ Genus reading to Sir Jeffrey Gourmand.