SCENE XIV.
Scandal, Mrs. Foresight.
SCAN. Good night, good Mr. Foresight; and I hope Mars and Venus will be in conjunction;—while your wife and I are together.
MRS. FORE. Well; and what use do you hope to make of this project? You don’t think that you are ever like to succeed in your design upon me?
SCAN. Yes, faith I do; I have a better opinion both of you and myself than to despair.
MRS. FORE. Did you ever hear such a toad? Hark’ee, devil: do you think any woman honest?
SCAN. Yes, several, very honest; they’ll cheat a little at cards, sometimes, but that’s nothing.
MRS. FORE. Pshaw! but virtuous, I mean?
SCAN. Yes, faith, I believe some women are virtuous too; but ’tis as I believe some men are valiant, through fear. For why should a man court danger or a woman shun pleasure?
MRS. FORE. Oh, monstrous! What are conscience and honour?
SCAN. Why, honour is a public enemy, and conscience a domestic thief; and he that would secure his pleasure must pay a tribute to one and go halves with t’other. As for honour, that you have secured, for you have purchased a perpetual opportunity for pleasure.
MRS. FORE. An opportunity for pleasure?
SCAN. Ay, your husband, a husband is an opportunity for pleasure: so you have taken care of honour, and ’tis the least I can do to take care of conscience.
MRS. FORE. And so you think we are free for one another?
SCAN. Yes, faith I think so; I love to speak my mind.
MRS. FORE. Why, then, I’ll speak my mind. Now as to this affair between you and me. Here you make love to me; why, I’ll confess it does not displease me. Your person is well enough, and your understanding is not amiss.
SCAN. I have no great opinion of myself, but I think I’m neither deformed nor a fool.
MRS. FORE. But you have a villainous character: you are a libertine in speech, as well as practice.
SCAN. Come, I know what you would say: you think it more dangerous to be seen in conversation with me than to allow some other men the last favour; you mistake: the liberty I take in talking is purely affected for the service of your sex. He that first cries out stop thief is often he that has stol’n the treasure. I am a juggler, that act by confederacy; and if you please, we’ll put a trick upon the world.
MRS. FORE. Ay; but you are such an universal juggler, that I’m afraid you have a great many confederates.
SCAN. Faith, I’m sound.
MRS. FORE. Oh, fie—I’ll swear you’re impudent.
SCAN. I’ll swear you’re handsome.
MRS. FORE. Pish, you’d tell me so, though you did not think so.
SCAN. And you’d think so, though I should not tell you so. And now I think we know one another pretty well.
MRS. FORE. O Lord, who’s here?