THE POWER OF SUGGESTION
Everything that the child experiences exerts an influence upon his future. It suggests a tendency to thought or action. Once the thought or act is indulged in, it has started the formation of habit. One act will not create a habit, but one act will tend to induce the child to act again in the same manner rather than go contrary to it or to vary the method. Repeated action forms a habit, for habit is defined as a tendency of the mind to do again what it has done before.
Habits, of course, vary in their strength, but you must realize the importance of the fact that the first repetitions are the important factors, because they are the habit's beginning. If the child's tendency is wrong do not delay changing it. Tomorrow may be too late. There is no certain age at which child training should begin. It is never too soon. The earlier you begin the easier it will be, and the more pleasure and satisfaction you will derive from your children.
The story is told of an anxious parent who went with a six-year child to the Bishop. The mother told at great length of the difficulty she was having with the child and asked what the proper age was to begin training him. The Bishop's reply was: "My dear woman, you are six years late."
Parents who procrastinate or delay correcting wrong tendencies and instilling right ones because "the child is too young to know better," or "it's too soon to train him yet," will awaken to find that they have formed a wrong habit and that the child will soon be trying to train and rule them.
There is no method of child training as helpful as that of Suggestion. Inducing the child by directly spoken words to think and believe that he is, and that he does, what you wish him to be and to do. This is known as Direct Suggestion. This is the most difficult form to use, as it may arouse antagonism, in which case no favorable result will be secured. It is better to postpone the use of Direct Suggestion until some time when you can sit down quietly and talk to the child, holding him in your lap and first preparing his mind by story or quiet talk of positive and constructive nature. Then make the Direct Suggestion in a clear, definite statement. Do not stop to argue or to impress the suggestion by moralizing. Prepare the soil of the child's mind, plant the seed (the Direct Suggestion), cover it over and leave it to germinate there. You do this by once clearly stating the ideal and then passing on to some other talk or story. Do not allow the child to argue the statement of the Suggestion. This is fatal to its germination. Have him in a passive mood in which he is listening to all that you say, and after you have given the Direct Suggestion and planted the seed, pass on to something else before he starts a train of contrary thoughts in his mind.
If he resists and denies your statement before you can lead his mind on, the soil was not properly prepared. Do not be discouraged, try again. Never be discouraged or give up, if you expect to gain results by the use of Suggestion.
After you have succeeded in planting this seed-thought in the child's mind, cultivate it. Do not neglect it, but return to it and emphasize the thought at another time, and gradually induce him to think of it in a positive manner. Tell an imaginary story which depicts the positive side of your seed-thought, and let him know it is of him you are thinking.
Always be positive—never negative. Always state the thing you want as it now is. Make it present tense—not even future. In suggestion there is no place for don't, can't or any other negative statement. Do not refer to the negative condition which you are striving to overcome. Do not say, "Your headache is better." Leave out the headache and say only, "You are better." A transitory term as—is becoming, or a future term as—you will be, or a questionable effort as—try to do, should not be used. Make your statement always positive, present tense, and completed. As for example: "This is mama's big, strong boy." "My boy always tells the truth." "My boy is strong and he is always kind." "John is a gentleman, he is kind to his sister." "Sarah loves her kitty and is kind and gentle with it."
The story of the Scotch wife will illustrate the effect of making negative statements. The husband was starting off on Saturday night to the village. John had a weakness, and knowing this the wife stood on the doorstep calling after him, "John, don't go near the saloon." "John, don't go near the saloon." "John, don't go near the saloon." With the best of intentions she kept repeating this as long as she could make him hear. John needed help, but if you will stop to think a moment you will see that the wife had continuously impressed upon his mind "the saloon," and, true to her fears, John returned home at a very late hour and in a sad condition.
Suggestion to be of value must get beyond the critical and analytical activity of the conscious mind and become placed in the sub-conscious. If the conscious mind denies the statement, either audibly or to itself, the sub-conscious is not influenced. The most profitable time to plant these positive seed-thoughts is just before the child "drops off to sleep."
The sub-conscious mind, which is influenced by the suggestion, never rests. It is the mind which controls the breathing, heart beat and other "sub-conscious action" of the body. It is working all the night through. If you fall asleep thinking in happy anticipation of some pleasure tomorrow you will awaken in the same happy, buoyant condition of mind. Often you have to think a moment to ascertain the reason for your happy mental condition, then you remember, "This is the day of the picnic." This shows how the sub-conscious has retained all through the night the thought which was placed there just before the conscious mind sleeps.
Take advantage of this fact and strive to place a positive, constructive thought upon the sub-conscious mind of your child just before sleep. It will be held and built into character and physical development all through the night.