Varia.
WILSON AND SHUTER.
When Wilson the comedian made his début, it was in the character formerly supported by Shuter; but, upon his appearance on the stage, the audience called out for their former favourite, by crying, “Off, off—Shuter, Shuter!” Whereon Wilson, turning round, and with a face as stupid as art could make it, and suiting his action to his words, replied, “Shoot her, shoot her?” (pointing at the same time to the female performer on the stage with him,) “I’m sure she does her part very well.” This well-timed sally of seeming stupidity turned the scale in his favour, and called down repeated applause, which continued during the whole of the performance.[165]
KITTY WHITE’S PARENTHESIS.
Kitty White, a pupil to old Rich, the comedian, was instructed by O’Brien, of Drury-lane, how to perform Sylvia, in “The Recruiting Officer.” The lady reciting a passage improperly, he told her it was a parenthesis, and therefore required a different tone of voice, and greater volubility. “A parenthesis!” said Miss White, “What’s that?” Her mother, who was present, blushing for her daughter’s ignorance, immediately exclaimed, “Oh, what an infernal limb of an actress will you make! not to know the meaning of ’prentice, and that it is the plural number of ’prentices!”
LADY WALLIS AND Mr. HARRIS.
Mr. Harris, patentee of Covent-garden theatre, having received a very civil message from lady Wallis, offering him her comedy for nothing, Mr. H. observed, upon his perusal, that her ladyship knew the exact value of it.[166]
SMOKY CHIMNIES.
A large bladder filled with air, suspended about half way up the chimney by a piece of string attached to a stick, and placed across a hoop, which may be easily fastened by nails, will, it is said, prevent the disagreeable effects of a smoky chimney.
OLD ENGLISH PROVERB.
“An ounce of mother wit is worth a pound of learning,” seems well exemplified in the following dialogue, translated from the German:
Hans, the son of the clergyman, said to the farmer’s son Frederick, as they were walking together on a fine summer’s evening, “How large is the moon which we now see in the heavens?”
Frederick. As large as a baking-dish.
Hans. Ha! ha! ha! As large as a baking-dish? No, Frederick, it is full as large as a whole country.
Frederick. What do you tell me? as large as a whole country? How do you know it is so large?
Hans. My tutor told me so.
While they were talking, Augustus, another boy, came by; and Hans ran laughing up to him, and said, “Only hear, Augustus! Frederick says the moon is no bigger than a baking-dish.”
“No?” replied Augustus, “The moon must be at least as big as our barn. When my father has taken me with him into the city, I have observed, that the globe on the top of the dome of the cathedral seems like a very little ball; and yet it will contain three sacks of corn; and the moon must be a great deal higher than the dome.”
Now which of these three little philosophers was the most intelligent?—I must give it in favour of the last; though Hans was most in the right through the instruction of his master. But it is much more honourable to come even at all near the truth, by one’s own reasoning, than to give implicit faith to the hypothesis of another.
[165] Monthly Mirror.
[166] Ibid.