A NEW TABLE TO CALCULATE WAGES.
This table must depend a great deal on the sort of table kept by the master of the house in which the servant resides. As a general rule, the dripping admits of subtraction, and by calculating how many times the candle-box will go into the kitchen-stuff, a fair average may be arrived at. It must also be borne in mind, that as the water is to the milk, so is the beer-money. In families where the cupboard is left open, it follows frequently, that as the tea is to the sugar, so is the servant at both of them.
THINGS WHICH CAN BE MUCH BETTER CONCEIVED
THAN DESCRIBED.
Getting out of an omnibus, and discovering you have left all your money on the mantel-piece.
A woman discovering her first grey hair.
Putting the lighted end of a cigar into your mouth.
A person's indignation on being told "Queen Anne's dead."
Meeting a creditor, and being obliged to sit opposite to him "the whole way" in an omnibus.
Being asked, in a drawing-room of ladies, to take a few tickets in a raffle—"the ticket only a guinea!"
Breaking your strap in the pas seul in La Pastorale.
The wine at a public dinner.