REPORT ON PUBLIC HEALTH.
From the returns founded on inquiries made by Mr. Jones of fourteen friends, whom he met in London during one afternoon, it was ascertained that, to the question, "How are you?" six replied "Pretty well," two were "Quite charming," four were "Very well," one was "Tolerable," and the remaining one "Bobbish." It seems that a state of bobbishness is one of vulgar health, and that the less genteel neighbourhoods, under the most favourable circumstances, are greatly conducive to it.
Relieving Officer.
Water is one of the first essentials to health, and, consequently, a rainy day ought to be a source of great salubrity. It is also a principal ingredient in the diet of paupers, no doubt on account of its sanatory properties. Water, in conjunction with ventilation, may be regarded as the safety-valve of disease; so that a walk in a pelting shower, with a hole or two in the hat and boots, ought to be prescribed as a preventive against the chance of illness.
Appealing against the Poor Rate.
Hair Hunting.
TREATING WITH CHINA.
DESPATCH FROM SIR HENRY POTTINGER.
Taking advantage of my full powers to treat, I asked the Commissioner what he would like me to treat him to. He at first suggested beer; but from what I have seen of the Chinese, I fancied that they stood more in need of spirit than anything else; and as my instructions were to mix as much as possible with the Imperial authorities, I kept mixing brandy and water till past midnight, in company with Key-sing, who did ample justice to the grog that was placed before him. The effect of the liquor was such as to cause me to receive several friendly assurances in broken Chinese; and the Commissioner, I am sure, soon began to see doubly all the advantages I was endeavouring to point out to him. In a short time such was the spirit of harmony inspired by the grog, that a song was volunteered by Key-sing; but it is impossible to say what key Key-sing did sing it in. I was then called upon to favour them with a vocal effort; and as my instructions were to meet the wishes of the Chinese government as well as I could, I struck up, "Home, sweet home," a selection which, I trust, will meet the approbation of the Home Office. The treaty had not yet received the signature of Key-sing; and he seemed to be wavering,—leaning first on one side, and then on the other; but at length he fell with his face flat upon the treaty, which I believe was intended to show his great respect for it. Such was his emotion, that he was with difficulty raised; and his hand was at length guided by a mandarin, who had partaken less freely of the grog than the Chief Commissioner. Key-sing then left for his own abode, singing and dancing all the way home, and addressing every one he met, to whom he was, probably, explaining the advantages that China will derive from the happy union.
I am, &c., your Lordship's, &c.,
HENRY POTTINGER.
Humbugs of the Day