THE JURY'S GUIDE TO FALSE WEIGHTS AND MEASURES.
Bakers.—"Down again to 5d.!!" placarded on the window, expresses a draught of an ounce against the purchaser. If a microscopic "¾" is added in pencil, the loss will be greater.
Grocers.—"The famous Four Shilling Tea!!" stuck in a pyramid of that article, means that a quarter of an ounce falls off in every pound. Another quarter may be added for every note of admiration.
General Dealers.—"Look!" in red letters, over the price of anything per pound, intimates that you should do so, and very narrowly, when the aforesaid pound is weighed.
Cheesemongers.—"One trial will prove the fact!" is an unmistakeable evidence of short weight. At the same time, it can scarcely be called a deception; as, if the affair is ever brought to the trial, one is usually found to be sufficient to prove anything.
Note—That an armed warrior at Astley's, or Mr. Paul Bedford, as the Dragon, at the Adelphi, cannot be taken up for using false scales; but that all Members of Parliament may be called to account for false measures.
A new application of the Wenham Lake Ice has been discovered. By placing a small portion on the cruet-stand, "chilly vinegar" can be produced to any amount. The success of the "Sherry Cobblers" has induced the more refined West End Clubs to establish "Madeira Shoemakers" for their patrician habitués. The Wenham Lake Ice is preserved in blankets. This, at first sight, appears remarkable until we recollect the power of a "wet blanket" to throw a chill over everything.
LIBRA—Striking the Balance.