THINGS TO BE BORNE IN MIND IN DECEMBER.
That you should this month keep "in the house," by which, unlike the Andover paupers, you will escape dripping.
That managers rely upon boxing night for making a hit; and that orders are always to be procured for the dress-circle in any quantity on that evening; "Christmas boxes" being seldom given, and as seldom taken in the theatres.
That Christmas comes but once a year, which, looking to the bills that generally accompany it, must be a great comfort to fathers of families.
That the Christmas log is now disused, but the wood of it is found in large quantities in the wine used in negus at Christmas parties.
Hares will now stand on end with terror at the approach of the shooter, and may be knocked on the head without expense of ammunition.
That if you go out to a party, and, to save cab-hire, walk in shiny boots, you will probably bring your "light catarrh" with you, as you will find out if asked to sing.
JUDICIUM ASTROLOGICUM.
THE PRIZE PROPHECY FOR 1846.
Courteous Reader,
The expense of keeping a prophet having increased with the diminution of the species, towards which those mundane authorities, termed police, are in deadly opposition, my prognostics have lately fallen in arrear. But the prize prophecy, which was thrown open to competition last year, has come to hand; and, fully convinced that everything put down in it will happen, sooner or later—or, if it does not, that it ought to have done so; and would, but for some unforeseen zodiacal altercation which threw the signs into confusion—I now offer it to you. And I beg to inform you that if you want cabalistic information upon any subject: to know the railway likeliest to pay, the definite intentions of the Prime Minister, the duration of the Income-tax, the fortune or expectations of any young lady you may meet at a party, or the winner of the next Derby—the fee of five sovereigns, enclosed to our Prophet at the publisher's, will ensure an answer by the return of post; containing, in addition to all he knows upon the subject, a great deal more that he does not. My limits forbid further observations; but keep these remarks in mind, and look out for the fulfilment of what is to happen in